Article

Could He/She Be A Control Freak?

Topic: Relationship AdviceBy Tina Tessina - Dr. RomancePublished Recently added

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3 ways to Stay Sane and Stay Married Is your spouse a control freak? It is driving you to distraction? Here are three tips to keep your relationship on track, keep you sane and stop you from going to divorce court. 1. Control freaks can be very successful. If yours is, give credit where credit is due. Don’t worry about your spouse’s controlling tendencies. Just don’t be controlled by them. If your spouse can have a sense of humor about it, then your marriage will be fine. If the control escalates into abuse, you need to get to counseling, fast. 2. Control freaks are often very insecure – controlling things is soothing to them. So, give your controlling spouse things to control. Put him or her in charge of things. Money is a great one. Schedules are another. Ask him or her to make phone calls to vendors and repair people, to sort through those messy tax files. You can go your merry way, and let the controlling spouse take charge of the stuff you don’t care about. Regard the controlling as a talent you can use in your service. 3. To succeed with a control freak, you need to have a sense of humor, and some compassion. The most likely reason for needing to control is that childhood was utter chaos, or the penalties for making mistakes in childhood were severe. Praise, calmness and a sense of humor works wonders. Tell your control freak how good he or she is at doing things. Say thank you for whatever has been neatly controlled. Stay calm when your spouse gets panicky, and use gentle teasing “You are so cute when you get all uptight about the bills” to jolly your spouse away from the panicky situation.

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About the Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. Califo
ia since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for LoveForever.com, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.

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