Creating Great Family Relationships

When asked what is most important to them, most people respond with one word-family. When you have a family where love is expressed, and shown, the benefits are overwhelming. A happy family where respect, laughter, love, and fun exist is truly a bit of heaven on earth.

If your spouse is thoughtful, supportive, a teammate, and a friend, you'll attain greater happiness in all areas of life. If your children are close to you, bonding as siblings, developing mentally, physically, and spiritually, who can measure the joy you will know? When the trials of the world weigh heavily upon you, your family becomes a true source of strength, encouragement, and peace-a shelter from the storm.

How can you create a satisfactory family life and still have everything you want in other areas? Is it possible to have a great family life while still accomplishing much outside the home? Not only is it possible-it must be done. Many parents achieve this balance every day.

CORE DESIRES IN YOUR FAMILY
In all of areas of life, the driving force that causes anything to happen with a high degree of joy and satisfaction is a Core Desire. If your desire is there, it's assured that you can achieve a close family unit. The results you achieve will be directly proportional to what you want and what you do. How soon you achieve your desired results is also directly related to how much you want them. If you are committed to something 100 percent in your family relationships, you can achieve it-especially if you seek direction on how to make it happen.

To achieve satisfying family unity, you need to be very clear about your Core Desires regarding your relationships. Virtually everything you want in your family has to do with feelings. For example, you may want to feel closer to your spouse because this makes you feel accepted, appreciated, valuable, and loved.

Poetry in Stages
My wife loves poetry, and for years I did not. In the early years of our marriage she tried to share her love for poetry with me, but I told her I just wasn't interested. I was never very sensitive or considerate about it either. Later I came to learn that not only did I hurt her feelings, but by being so adamant in my distaste, I forced part of her to close down. Not being able to share something so important with me limited our relationship.

I couldn't envision acquiring a taste for poetry, let alone ever becoming enamored with it, as she was. This was a major obstacle I didn't know how to overcome. I began asking myself what my Core Desires were conce
ing my wife. I want to know all about her-to truly understand her heart. When I am able to give her what she needs and wants, we feel closer.

I could easily see that my Core Desire was never going to be poetry, but understanding her was already a 100 on my Core Desire Scale. Once I understood this, I began to want to know why poetry touched her so much. What was it about poetry that made her happy? When I asked her these questions, she lit up. I could see that I was bringing her a great deal of joy just by caring enough to ask.

This was the first stage of my poetry experience with my wife. After understanding the impact poetry could have on her, I was motivated to please her, in some way, in this matter. Since we go on dates every Friday night, I went to the bookstore and bought two books on poetry before our next date. I had now progressed to stage two.

I planned a picnic in a beautiful park. After we ate, I pulled out the two books and said, "I'd like to read some poetry to you." Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she smiled and said, "Okay!"

I opened the first book and began to read the first poem. It was a short poem-only about eight lines long. I may not have read it very well, but Marci got a kick out of my efforts. When she told me she liked it, I asked her what she liked about it.

She began to explain what the words meant to her and how they made her feel. I was happy that I was able to bring her that kind of joy. Then she told me it was even more enjoyable because I brought it and read it to her. That was to my ears. When we had finished reading both books, I felt like a million dollars for making her happy by doing something she really loved-and she told me she fell in love with me all over again! Later, I even tried to write a poem about my love for her. This was definitely stage three. The poem may have been poor, but she was so pleased that it didn't matter. I have since written her several poems.

If you had told me that one day I would not only read poetry but write it, I would have said impossible!

We should use the word impossible with caution, however, for our Conquering Force knows no such thing as failure. If it is a genuine Core Desire, anything is possible. My persistence was automatic once I defined my Core Desire-to bring joy to my wife.