Custody and Moving: Decisions that Can Affect a Child's Right to Visitation with a Non-Custodial Parent

Custody and moving are two of the most common points of contention during divorce negotiations. Couples frequently argue over where the children are going to live, and if the custodial parent wants to move out of state—or even into another city or county—there is always the concern about how the children are going to be able to see the non-custodial parent. These kinds of concerns—or arguments—can have a dramatic effect on the children if they become aware of the discussions. While there is no way around discussions concerning custody and moving provisions, you and your spouse need to focus on making decisions that are in the best interests of the children.rnSometimes job requirements can affect the decisions a parent must make concerning custody and moving. In this case the easiest way to handle it is to make sure the children understand you will not prevent them from seeing the other parent and in spite of provisions for custody, moving is for their own good. The issue of key importance is not whether any decisions you make regarding custody and moving are for your own good but rather that they are in the best interests of your children. Some of the things you want to consider before you make a decision include he following: • How will custody and moving affect your children's relationships with the non-custodial parent, friends, schoolwork and other relatives? • Is the move one that will benefit you and your children financially or emotionally? If the reason is financial, have you looked for other options? • Do you feel the need to move because you fear your spouse? • Are you moving in order to prevent your children from seeing the other parent? If so you need to reconsider. No matter what the circumstances of the divorce may be, the children deserve to see both parents unless one of them has been abusive in which case supervised visitation is in order. • Will the move help your children adjust better to the divorce? • Will the move cause your children to have to give up any of their favorite things?rnUntil you are able to answer the above questions you are not ready to contemplate any further investigation into custody and moving. In all case the needs of the children must come first unless those needs interfere with the immediate need for the family to be safe. For instance, sometimes a spouse will abuse the other spouse but not the children though the latter presents a concern even for the courts. Aside from safety you must always make decisions that will help your children live healthy and fulfilling lives; you can meet your needs at a later date after they have adjusted to being without their other parent on a full-time basis. rnIs it always important to make sacrifices for your children when it comes to custody and moving? Since you are an adult and can adjust easier, the answer to that question is obvious. Remember, children are still growing and learning, and it is our job as parents to protect them and make sure we provide a happy and healthy environment for them to grow up.