Dealing with a child with behavior issues

Your child is out of control. He or she refuses to follow directions and the rules of the home, they are not attending school, and maybe their grades are failing. You’ve tried everything you can to get them to obey, but the more you try, the more they rebel.

Good news is you are not alone. There are many families out there that are dealing with a child with behavior issues. The other good news is that there are things that you can do to help improve their behaviors and help you regain your sanity.

Admit that there is a problem. There is nothing that can be done if you don’t first as a parent admit that there is a problem. Johnny is not “just going through a faze” and chances are that Sabrina is not going to just “grow out of it” with a little maturity.

Recognize that if you have more than one child, each child’s development and temperament is different. They are different people and although some of the behaviors may look similar, they have different needs. Because Dawn started out middle school failing and by the end had a B average doesn’t mean that when your second daughter Kim starts failing she will end up with a B average like her sister if you leave things alone.

Put your pride aside. Everyone needs help. There are trained professionals out there that can assist you and your child in modifying behaviors so that your child improves and is successful.

Seek professional counseling. It’s okay to have your child evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist to rule out mental health issues that may hinder your child’s progress. A trained counselor will help as well. Look for licensed social workers or professional counselors whose area of expertise is dealing with children with behavior issues.

Join support groups for parents dealing with some of the things you are. There, you will be able to vent, share information on what skills work for your family, and meet others dealing with the same thing your family is.

Be open to receiving direction. As a licensed social worker providing therapy for children and families, many of the families I work with say that they are open to change, but feel like the child is the only one that needs the change. The family as a whole has to learn new skills to effectively communicate and deal with the issue at hand. It doesn’t mean that there is poor parenting present, it just means that you have to be open to learning and implementing the tools you will need to work with your child.

Dealing with a child with behavior issues is not easy. It takes time, patience, and the ability to celebrate the small changes and achievements that will be made. Be willing to talk with a trained professional who can assist you and your family with your needs.