Dealing with Anger

Good that you not only want control over the outer anger but even the anger inside. And yes when you get rid of weakness like anger inside out you would be more than happy. Once we realize and confront the problem, the solution is half reached. One cannot stop anger immediately. Firstly, one must recognize what anger is and the causes behind it. Then comes the next step of how to control it without hurting myself or others, not just curbing the surface anger but feeling calm inside and ultimately staying happy. To understand what causes anger, let's take this situation - If you are walking along and a stone from a building falls on your head and hurts you, will you get angry? No, because it just happened spontaneously. Isn’t it? Why do you not get angry in this situation? It is because you do not see anybody there. And if you were to go out now and a little boy throws a stone at you, you will get angry with him. Why? Because you believe that the boy threw the stone at you. You become angry because in your mind you feel that that person is responsible. No one is able to hurt another person knowingly. Whether a boy throws a stone at you or whether a stone from a hilltop hits you, it is essentially the same thing. But it is an illusion that makes you perceive that someone is responsible for it. In this world no man has even the independent power over his bowel movements. We do have control over anger. When we realize that no one has thrown the stone that falls from the hillside, we do not get angry. And when you say, “Anger overcomes me”; it really does not. If it did, then why do you not react in the same way in the other situation? Why don’t you getrnangry when a policeman tells you off? And yet you get angry with your wife, with the children, with the neighbors, with those working under you. And why don’t you get angry with your boss? Anger does not just happen to people. People get angry because they want to have their own way. The control is there. Recognize that the person who throws the stone at you is merely your nimit (someone instrumental) who is bringing to you, the effects of your past karma. rnIf a car is coming head on to you, will you get angry or will you move out of the way? Would you crash with the car? You are aware of the consequences. But when you get angry, the internal destruction is much greater. The external destruction is obvious to you, but you are not aware of the internal destruction. This is the only difference. People try to suppress anger, but it is futile, and in doing so one may even become insane.rnIt is not just the anger that is expressed outwardly that constitutes anger, but the smoldering one feels within is also anger. Tolerance is really twice the anger. Tolerance means to suppress continually. One will realize this when, like a coiled spring, suppressed anger rebounds one day.rnWhy should one endure? One merely has to bring about a solution through right knowledge (Gnan). Gnani Purush Param Pujya Dadashri has given 4 steps to overcome any weaknesses like anger:- Step 1: Decide: We must make 100% strong decision - “It is wrong to get angry” Step 2: Analyze: Why anger is wrong?” Should be clearly understood along with the consequences thereafter. Step 3: Repent (Pratikraman): Each time you get angry, you should repent “ Hey Bhagwan, please forgive me because anger is wrong and give me strength to never get angry again.” Step 4: No protection: Never protect your weakness (anger) by covering up or by justifying anger even slightly. You should note down with whom do you get angry, why do you get angry, and when do you not get angry? Start your homework and make a list of all these. Do an analysis and if you will study this, you will realize why this happens. Today, when everybody is giving me respect, I don't get angry. When everyone at home obeys me there is no anger. Only where others don't obey me, anger occurs. So, find out the reasons for getting angry. Just as we can control the fan through the regulator, we need to find the causes of anger in order to control it. When we change the causes, anger will vanish on its own. If you get angry with this gentleman, you decide that my anger towards him is the result of me seeing faults in him previously. Now whatever wrong he does, as long as you do not let it affect your mind, the anger towards him will subside. Some of it will still come as a result of the past, but no more will come in the future. A person without anger projects a good personality and appealing to all he meets. Frost is more deadly than heat. When there is frost or ice storm, it burns the grass, the trees, and all the crops. So if you remain cool, you will develop sound morality and chastity. Please visit-rnhttps://www.dadabhagwan.org/path-to-happiness/self-help/anger-management/