Dear Dr. Romance: Should she tell the man she's in love with him?

Dear Dr. Romance:

I have a friend who's asking for an advice and accidentally, I saw in the internet your advice to some heart problems. So I told myself to try ask help from you also. This lady friend of mine is well, kind of in love with a man who's also in love with her. However, a friend of ours also is I think falling in love with the same man. So, my friend does not know what to do. Is it just right for her to tell to the man she is in love with him even if doing so will hurt our other friend? Because the advice that I had given to her is to better tell what she feels. And also, She does not know if the man still loves her because lately he acts somewhat different. It's as if something turned out bad. I hope you can give some advice.

Dear Reader:

What are the facts? If this guy is dating both women, then he's just having a good time, and not thinking about commitment. If he's not dating either, then this is all just fantasy. Both ladies should stick with reality, and not get too far into their hopes about this guy. The big question is, has he asked either or both of them out on a date? If he has dated your friend, then she should not tell him what she feels (it's usually pretty disastrous with a guy) but ask him what he wants to do about their friendship. If he hasn't dated her, she should take the lead and ask him out to coffee or lunch, to let him know she's interested. Whatever she does, she shouldn't make a dramatic declaration of feelings unless he does. That just spooks a man, and sends him away. "You Be the Judge" will help your friend think more clearly about men. "How to Avoid Loving a Jerk" will also help her understand the difference between a good guy and a bad one.

Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences is full of exercises and information to help your friend communicate with partners more effectively.

For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com