Dear Married Men: Keep Your Balls To Yourself

Extramarital affairs, it seems as if everybody’s doing it- Presidents, Senators, Governors, golfers, bosses, friends, cousins, family members… you thought, why not try the fun and excitement yourself. If they can do it, why can’t you, right? Well, if those people can give you a piece of advice, they will tell you right on your face to, “KEEP YOUR BALLS TO YOURSELF!” Yes, extramarital affair can give you the thrill and “sexcitement” you have long been missing for. But believe me, from your pleasure; a hundred folds of pain will come back to slap you on the face. So, if you are thinking of getting involved in an extramarital affair, think a million times first. Here are some big reasons why you should avoid having an affair. * You can lose your family. Is it really worth it? All the fun and excitement in exchange for your wife and children? * You will lose your power and influence in the relationship. Practically, this means that your wife will never respect you, your children will no longer look up to you, you will lose your rights to decide in your own home, and you will be that voice that nobody listens to. * You will lose your credibility. Nobody will trust you again. People in your home and in your office will doubt every word that comes out of your mouth. Your colleagues will gossip about you, and your family members and friends will think what a jerk you are. You will never have access to your own finances. Your wife will demand it and you can never say no. After your extramarital affair extravagance, you’re lucky enough to get a penny out of your pay check. * You will lose all your privileges and benefits. To say the least, you can never touch the remote, never go bowling or go out drinking with the boys. You can never use the car unless going to and from the office. But the biggest privilege you are going to be deprive of is the cookie… you will be lucky if you can touch the tip of your wife’s hair. * You will lose your privacy. You will be required to give your e-mail password and phone log to your wife. * An ex-convict has more freedom than you. An ex-con is usually required to report to his parole officer regularly. In your case, you are required to report to your wife every thirty minutes or so with a curfew of 9PM. * You will be susceptible to blackmails. Remember David Letterman? If it happened to him, it can happen to you. Plus, there’s a huge possibility that the other woman will threaten you about the extramarital affair. Extramarital affair, it’s really not worth it. I promise you, it always ends badly. No doubt, you will regret it. I guarantee you that the people you love and care will get hurt. So when you feel that your marriage sucks and you’re not happy, then face the problem like a man. Don’t have an affair! Extramarital affairs don’t lead to happiness, it destroys it.