Decoding "The Secret"

As the idea of manifesting what we want in life has been a topic at the forefront of the media, talk shows, and public conversations of late, I'd like to address some aspects of the book The Secret that I believe have been misinterpreted or misunderstood based on the "sensationalized" promotional and media coverage we've experienced around this work. If we can view this book as just one of many helpful tools in understanding our lives, but not consider this the answer to all of our problems, we'll be much more successful, I think, in understanding the principles it discusses. Unfortunately, many people I've encountered in my coaching and therapy work have experienced distress because they believe they are failures at creating the lives they wish for, and they blame themselves for this failure.

I do believe wholeheartedly in the concept of the Law of Attraction, and consider it a profoundly powerful principle at work in our world. By this I mean that human beings "resonate" and "vibrate" emotionally and energetically at certain levels, and the character of our energetic output will absolutely shape what is attracted to us in our lives. I remember even as a very young child being able to "feel" the energy of individuals and groups as a whole, and sensed when certain people emitted an energetic "frequency" that felt uncomfortable or discordant to me (I must say that this "sensing" ability made large gatherings and corporate meetings very challenging for me at times!"). I know now that this energetic vibration is indeed palpable, and provides useful information for us, if we'll heed it.

What does this concept of "energetic resonance" mean? I believe that when we are habitually engrossed in thoughts and actions of negativity, unkindness, judgment, cruelty, insecurity, and fear, and when we act from the belief that each of us is separate from all others, then there is virtually no way we can, with consistency and regularity, attract energetically to us that which resonates on a higher level (i.e., love, beauty, peace, harmony, compassion, oneness, fulfillment, joy, etc.). This is so because we are not in a place to be able to perceive or receive this higher level of experience--our "filters" will not allow it.

So what can we do about it? The first step is to become highly aware of your thoughts, and how your thoughts feel. We must be aware of our beliefs and thoughts, and how they impact us emotionally and energetically. From this awareness, we need to choose "better-feeling" thoughts when we are distressed, upset, fearful, etc. We must actively select and reach for thoughts that bring us even a little bit of relief, release, peace of mind, and a trusting that all will be well in the end, and that we are able to cope with what we're experiencing. This process expands and grows over time, and allows us to continue feeling relief, even in the face of upsetting events.

Contrary to public opinion and some messages in the book The Secret and others, my experience with hundreds of distressed individuals reveals that we simply cannot shift from feeling as if our knees are knocking together in fear and negativity, to a state of utter peace, joy, and happy expectancy, in one fell swoop. This type of emotional turn-around requires great inner work and an ongoing commitment to the belief that we do indeed affect what we attract into our lives-- in fact, we "co-create" it. Knowing that we can and do influence what occurs in our lives reminds us that we are not hapless victims, but life students and lifetime learners -- we realize that what emerges is there specifically for us to embrace and learn from. n
From my vantage point, we are here to physically manifest and experience all of what life has to offer in order for us to hone our own deep and specific preferences for what we personally choose to bring forth into being. When we understand this concept, then feeling peaceful internally, despite what is occurring outside of us, is a natural and life-affirming way of being.

As a helpful tool, I'd like to recommend a wonderful and powerful book called Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This book, and the teachings of Abraham it offers, helps explain how "reaching for a better-feeling thought" is so powerful in manifesting what you dream of. Do check it out! n
I'd like to share too my belief that we are not here in this lifetime so that everything will be perfect, smooth, and carefree always, according to our individual plan. Our personal plans are always based on our own myopic and short-sighted views. I believe there is a higher and far more beautiful plan that incorporates all of us. We cannot see or know this plan, but trusting that it exists is very peace-inducing. n
It is so helpful to realize that we are not in total control of life, nor would we really want to be at this time in our development. There are things that happen in our lives for our highest benefit and growth, and for the highest good of all involved, but often these occurrences may not remotely resemble what we would actively and consciously want to attract to us, because our understanding of our own potential is limited. n
How do we handle these "unattractive" events and situations then? We accept them for the lessons they offer, incorporate these insights and teachings as best we can, and then release the pain associated with them. And as we release the pain, disappointment, or trauma, wonderful new thoughts and beliefs bubble up to the surface that help us feel loved, supported, cared for, nourished, nurtured. In the end, we learn to trust that we are in good hands, always. The emotional pain is meant to be temporary, as a gentle (or not so gentle) nudge from the Universe to pay attention and continue to develop our preferences about these events or happenings. But holding onto the pain and projecting it into the future, as so many of us do, again misses the point completely.

The "secret" isn't about bringing to you everything you want. It's about loving and embracing yourself and your life right now. The more you embrace who you are and what you have already created, the more you will experience an expansion of the feelings of gratitude, peace, joy, love, and fulfillment, no matter what the outer circumstances in life provide. n
When you achieve this type of internal acceptance and gratitude, and use your intuition and heart to guide you with each step, then life is inevitably filled with more and more to be grateful for each day.

Do you have any stories you'd like to share about how The Secret and its concepts have (or haven't) been of service to you? If so, I invite you to share them on my blog, Reinventing Ourselves. n
Thank you for reading and sharing. Wishing you a time of great positive attraction and feeling good always!

Kathy Caprino, MA