Differences: Blessing or Curse?

Question: How are you dealing with your differences?

Whether you are already married or are in a premarital situation, it is important for couples to understand that our differences are God-given and are meant to compliment one another in Christian marriage. Differences are a challenging but important aspect of a strong marriage. There are several important attitudes couples can adopt when working through these differences.

These include realizing differences have a purpose, the need to be teachable, the importance of seeking to understand our mate, and then learning to work together as one. Differences are there for a reason.  God made us different so that we compliment one another.  It’s like a dance we learn over time. With a lot of practice, experience, understanding one another we can get the rhythm down.

The scripture is very clear about marriage and becoming one.  Genesis 2: 24 says:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

There is a leaving and cleaving and becoming one, united. To completely become one can take time. It will take adjustments along the way. What we need to have is a teachable heart and a teachable spirit. As you are working through all these differences and expectations with each other there are a couple things to keep in mind.


You are likely coming from two different backgrounds and that’s important.  Each of you may have very different expectations depending on what you have experienced in the past.  Kind that in mind when you are wondering why in the world your partner is doing or saying something that is totally foreign to you.

Pay Attention!  Stay tuned in.  You need to be an active listener and attentive to needs. What your partner needs one day may be quite different the next day.  So pay attention to their body language, speech patterns, temperament and moods.  No one said it was going to be easy being “one” and overcoming differences but it can sure be very interesting along the way.

For more on this subject you can click the link below featuring Dr. Gary & Barb Rosberg. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8fUyKSkv2A&feature=player_profilepage