Do I Have to Be The Good Wife?

Whether in the media or creatively integrated into television dramas we've watched time and again the dutiful wife standing beside her husband who's been caught in some sex scandal, criminal act or any other type of behavior requiring a public mea culpa. Some look sincerely supportive. Others look like they're rather be eating asphalt than where they are. Some look ready to punch the guy in the nose. A scant few are very noticeably missing in action.

What motivates a wife to stand by her husband especially when he's violated her trust and the personal boundaries of their relationship? Many of them are very accomplished and can easily continue their success on their own.

For some, its the first public presentation after the private conversations between man and wife where they've decided to work on keeping their relationship and marriage together.

Others stand by her man out of fear - fear of losing what has been the social or financial foundation of their lives for many years. Who would they be separated from their husband and what the partnership provided? Some muster up whatever it takes to put on a calm and connected front for the sake of their children.

All valid reasons to stay in solid support. The key is whether or not you feel good about the choice you made. Your feelings are indicators of whether or not you're headed in a direction that's good for you and what you value most. If you feel calm and certain about your choice, even if acting upon it is uncomfortable, then you're in alignment with the truth of who you are. If you make a choice to please others or out of fear then you've disconnected from what matters most to you and you'll not like the ultimate outcome of that decision.

The answer to "Do I always have to be the good wife?" is simply this: Remember your WHY. Why did you choose to marry this man in the first place? If your WHY is still valid, stand by his side without compromising your values. If your WHY is but a distant memory then follow the simple airline instruction for safe traveling, "put your mask on first". Make sure your needs as the unique individual you are, as a wife and as a parent are taken care of BEFORE you try to help anyone else, including your wayward husband.