We have all come across difficult people in our lives and it is inevitable that there will be more in our future. We can’t control how they act, but we CAN control how we REACT to them.
Let’s first talk about strangers. I can recently recall someone who cut me off in traffic and another who didn’t hold doors for me at a store as I was trying to maneuver my stroller through two cumbersome doors. I allowed myself to get upset briefly, but I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get upset at all.
I have some thoughts regarding strangers who aren’t being very nice. They are either just plain rude or they are going through something in their own personal life. Because they are strangers and the encounters with strangers are usually brief, we will never know the reason for their actions. So regardless, we should never take it personally. For those who are just plain rude, they are most likely unhappy with themselves and/or in their own lives. I am certain that they are rude or mean to many others. So just remember the battle they are facing is with themselves not with others. Don’t return the rudeness. As self-help author and motivational speaker Wayne Dyer says, “Give those who find fault or who are confrontational a silent blessing and remove yourself from their energy as quickly as possible.”
Regarding the strangers who may be going through something, you just never know what a person is experiencing in their personal life. For example, they could be ill, they could’ve just received a phone call that their spouse lost their job or that their electricity was shut off because they couldn’t pay their bill. Their circumstances don’t excuse their poor behavior, but everyone reacts to their circumstances differently. We’ve all had our share of bad days and bad moods so sometimes we just need to give people some grace.
Now let’s move on to non-strangers or situations that are more involved. Unfortunately there are people who criticize, insult, judge, belittle, gossip, etc. Common reactions are anger, getting offended, wanting to get them back, talking about them to friends or our mate, wanting to prove them wrong, wanting to defend ourselves, wanting to win them over, etc. But are these types of people worth our valuable time and energy? The answer is a strong “No!” Life is too precious to be upset or offended by others. We must save our time and energy for the things that really matter in life such as spending time with loved ones or taking the time to improve our lives.
How about when a person tries to ruin your reputation or tries to make you look bad? Ignore them and rise above it all. You can’t let these people control you or make you feel any less about yourself. What they say about you does not define you. Live your life with integrity and don’t worry about what others say. I’ve always loved the saying “what you say about me is none of my business!”
Don’t engage in conflicts that aren’t worth your time. There are some people who are always looking for a fight. Stay clear of them and if you can’t avoid them just don’t engage. As Pastor Joel Osteen says, every battle you come across is not a battle you’re supposed to fight. Many battles are distractions to lure you off course to keep you from being your best. You must learn to ignore these distractions. Stay on the high road and let God fight your battles for you. It is very liberating once you realize that you don’t have to fight every battle that comes your way.
You also have to realize that there will be people who will never be for you or never celebrate you…no matter what you do. But that’s okay! You can’t let them steal your joy. You have to let those people go or at least limit your interaction with them. If you stay positive and in a state of inner peace, people who WILL celebrate you will come into your life.
In his book “Every Day a Friday,” Osteen encourages his readers to be an eagle when others are trying to bring them down. Eagles can fly as high as 20,000 feet. Think of a crow pestering an eagle. Instead of meddling with the crow, the eagle can simply rise higher and higher and eventually the crow will fall off. So be an eagle, don’t fight with the crows, just rise above them all!
When you wake up each morning, open your eyes with gratitude and be thankful for another day. Make the intention that you will make the best of the day and you will stay in peace no matter what the day brings. Have your mind set on having a good day, but if things don’t go your way remember to return to this state of inner peace.
The next time someone says or does something that upsets you, don’t dwell on the negativity. Pause for a moment, take a deep cleansing breath, and return to that state of inner peace. Learn to say to yourself, “I’m not getting upset. I know this day is a gift from God and I am thankful for all of my blessings. I’m making a decision to stay in peace.” Always remember no person or situation can upset you without your permission!
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Thanks for reading! Make it a great day! God bless! ~J