Do the Inner Work First

Be careful of things that promise easy and simply solutions to complex problems. The Law of Attraction is one such solution that is often misleading. If it’s so easy, why are so many still stuck?

One of my new clients told me how she uses dreams and visualizations in the hope of creating her ideal life. She described how she imagines herself already having all the things she wants and feels the joy and excitement of those dreams. This is exactly what books on law of attraction say you are supposed to do. Yet, she continues to attract the same dead end relationships and is stuck in a low-paying job.

The reason this client is not attracting what she wants in her life is that her dreams are not congruent with who she is at this point. Since childhood she has used fantasy to escape from reality, which by the way was painful and dysfunctional. So for her, visualizing and dreaming became a means of compensating and denying her real thoughts, feelings, and circumstances.

Her skills at visualization will be helpful to her down the road but she needs to set it aside right now and deal with reality. She has to honestly confront her core beliefs, assumptions, and self-image and learn to understand herself in a new light. She needs to allow herself to heal the unspoken grief she carries inside. Then she will be able to see herself with more compassion, work on forgiveness, and be able to love and accept herself for who she really is. As she grows forward into higher emotional well-being she will then begin to attract what she desires, as her self-image, attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs align.

There is a positive intent behind your desire to find a quick solution to your problem and bypass the inner work, and that intent is to avoid pain. In fact, when you attempt to avoid your pain you construct your whole identity around your past experiences and the ways you learned to cope with them. But that is not who you are. Finding your way to who you really requires getting to the other side of your pain, which means you need to stop running from what you fear and allow yourself to feel what your feel.

This may sound like too much work and pain but it is the road less traveled, which leads to true prosperity. Don’t be discouraged by the journey. This is critical to the health of your relationships and your sense of well-being. Find a good coach or therapist who understands how to guide you through the inner work and keep moving forward. You are worth the effort.