Do We Know Who We Are?

Mahatma Gandhi said “I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.” I began to think about that idea and it brought up another similar quotation that had hung for a full year on the board of my sixth grade classroom: “Personality is who people think you are; character is what God knows you are.” I think that whether you like the word personality or you like the word character, whatever one you choose to define yourself, it is important to accomplish that task.

We can know who we are by looking at our thinking, our speaking and our actions. Let’s look at those one at a time.

To look at what you are thinking, I’d like to remind you about the little voice of your conscious that has been in there watching all along. Know how that little voice talks to you and makes comments to you that you don’t dare to say out loud? Yes, that little voice. You have already been going within yourself much of your life. It’s simply about elevating those internal conversations to a position of greater authority in your life and honoring what you hear or see yourself saying inside your own mind.

One of the keenest skills I’ve noticed in Asian cultures is that keen ability to observe and this is what I’d recommend that you foster within yourself. In order to do that, you’d more than likely have to speak less out loud unless you are capable of doing two things simultaneously. You may discover great wisdom as you observe. You may also discover things that can be improved. Either way, you will be well served to observe what you are thinking, because, as Shakespeare said “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” You can Know who you are if you observe yourself thinking.

To observe yourself speaking requires a bit more skill, because you do have to be talking and observing at the same time. Your thinking always precedes your speaking and I believe you should start at the beginning to observe what you think before you can accomplish this part. Communicating our thoughts and ideas places us the highest on the food chain, so this ability should be revered as one of our capabilities. You want to acquire a way to speak fluidly, naturally and comfortably. If you can slow down while you are speaking and only say the most critical parts, your observation will benefit you well.

Some questions you might ask yourself while speaking are: Are these words essential? Have I interrupted someone else’s words? Will what I am saying hurt someone? Will my words have a positive impact? Are my words of value to my listener? Am I articulating well? Is my tone appropriate? Do my words match what is really in my heart? Do my words permit me to remain in integrity with my true, core beliefs? Does the face of my listener reflect his interest or is he disinterested? What else remains when I quit speaking? Do I owe someone an apology? Remember: "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." ~~Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) You can know who you are is you observe yourself speaking.

Watching your actions is the last step toward self-knowledge. Why do you do the things you do? What motivates you? Where did you unfold your skills? Do you have enough skills to do a thing well? Each of us has at least one talent to do at least one thing really well. Do you know what that is for you? If you observe your actions keenly and objectively, you can discover that. Just doing that one thing well is a grand way to develop your identity.

Each of us has one unique gift. Beethoven was gifted musically. Fairuz was gifted with a magnificent voice. Einstein was gifted scientifically. Khalil Gibran was gifted poetically. If you could picture your own funeral, what gift would others say you had? Learn to observe your actions from that perspective.

Pretend you are a detective who follows you around. What conclusions would he come to just by watching you? This is the kind of objectivity you need to know who you are. You might see strengths; you might see weaknesses. Whatever you see, observing your actions objectively will help you know who you are.

Your thinking, your speaking and your actions are foundational knowledge that has to be set in place before you can Be the Change in your life to create more health, wealth, success, and happiness. I know you can do it.