Article

Does Engagement Stress Really Take A Toll On Your Relationship

Topic: Marriage CoachingPublished September 18, 2019

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Planning a wedding is no easy feat, no matter the size or budget. Not only are there financial stresses, but conflicting in-laws, money worries and everything in between, it’s not surprising that the blissful engagement period can take a huge toll on your relationship with your fiancé. It is, however, completely normal to go through a rough patch during your engagement, so as long as you are both open to growth and discussion, then this rough patch isn’t necessarily a prediction of married life. For couples who are currently battling with the stress and pressures that an engagement can bring, this is good news. But, you need to solve any conflicts in order to survive them. There are some stresses which are the most conflicting amongst newly engaged couples, so solving them in time for the big day is vital! Financial Impact Weddings are not cheap - the average wedding costs around £30k - and this can, of course, put a huge strain on your relationship. If you spent a small fortune on the diamond jewellery for the engagement, then your budget may be limited for a short while, and this is ok. But, a great way to avoid this is by making sure you and your partner are on the same page along every step of the way so that you can avoid arguments about money. If you have been raised a certain way, then you may have different spending habits to your partner. If you grew up in a low-income family, for example, then you are probably more budget-conscious than your partner, or if you grew up with little worries about money, you may seem like you are trying to show off. The most important thing to do is sit down together and discuss finances in a logical and thoughtful way. Planning Whether it is one of you who is taking over and excluding your partner or if you are just completely uninterested in the planning, the overall solution is the same. You must have honest and open discussions about it throughout the duration of your wedding planning, especially if the stress becomes overwhelming. Try to get together every 2 weeks to during the planning process and sit down in a calm, relaxing environment to make sure that you are both on the same page and give one another the opportunity to voice any concerns or feelings that you have. Dealing With In-Laws A historical issue, in-laws are notoriously difficult and dealing with them can often lead to high-tension situations. If one group of parents are constantly getting involved with the wedding plans, it is easy to start feeling resentful, especially if your partner doesn’t have your back. However, it is extremely important not to let any tension reach a breaking point. You both must create boundaries and stick to them. It is extremely easy to be influenced by what your mother-in-law thinks, but you both need to figure out what it is you both envision for your wedding day and what it is you really want. rnYou and your partner are in this as a team and you both need to support one another during this period of your relationship more than anything else. You need to let one another know exactly what your thoughts and needs are and if they aren’t meeting them, then you need to let them know! Building trust is a great thing that comes out of planning a wedding and whilst tackling difficult discussions may be uncomfortable at the time, you will both come out of it a lot stronger.

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