Don't Get Mad, Get Glad

Last evening, as I was reading, with my 13 year old son, Spencer, from the book Spiritual Economics by Eric Butterworth, we entered into a delicious dialogue on the meaning of resistance. We were reading a passage that says, to realize prosperity, you must accept the responsibility of your own thoughts, which is how you can take charge of your life.

I have shared the teachings of The Power of Awareness with probably a thousand folks by now, and I have gained a clear understanding of how the mind works. And the only reason anyone, me included, feels any discomfort, ever, is because we are resisting what is. Simply put, if we have a belief – a thought – that judges what is, as bad or wrong, we can’t “accept” what is. The mind that can’t accept what is does what it has been trained to do: resist. I’ll explain this further. But first, take this opportunity to observe your mind accept or resist my explanation.

Our minds have been conditioned from a very young age to believe that being “right” is good and being “wrong” is bad. When we are “right,” we get the good grades or the promotion and pay raise, or we receive the approval of our parents, children or lover, and this makes us glad! Conversely, when we are “wrong,” we get the bad grades, the pink slips, or the dis-approval and rejection from our parents, children or our lover, and this can makes us mad!

What does resistance have to do with this? Everything. When we are in the midst of any situation that our mind interprets as “wrong” in order to not feel bad, it will go into resistance mode in a nano-second. This manifests as confusion, argument, judgment, defensiveness, or emotional shut-down. You see, defending what we know as “right,” will avoid, if only temporarily, the bad feeling that comes from thinking we could be “wrong.”

My son, Spencer, quickly recalled a perfect example. “So mom, when my math teacher was explaining the second part of a formula and I got confused and upset with her, was I resisting?” You were. The reason is that instead of “accepting” that your mind was not ready for the second part, as you had not yet understood or gotten the first part “right,” you attempted, through argument, to make the teacher “wrong.” At a subconscious level, your mind did not want you to experience feeling bad, so you projected being “wrong” on to the teacher.

I shared with Spencer that he can always feel good simply by changing his beliefs about what it means to be right or wrong. In other words, he can create a belief that learning new things is fun. Or, that others may have a new, different or possibly even a better perspective to share. Being in a state of “accepting” what life is bringing into your experience, in any given moment opens your mind and heart, and the body will naturally feel relaxed – good – even if you don’t agree with it. Resisting what is taking place, on the other hand, closes your mind and heart, and that makes the body feel tense – bad – and that will not change what is.

Because our thoughts create how we feel, we are always, albeit unconsciously, choosing how we feel. Feeling good is our natural state of being. When we feel good, we go with the flow of life because we accept what is. Others will feel our ease, and may feel inspired to help us, including math teachers. The boss will feel inclined to contribute to our success, and our parents, children and lovers will enjoy being around us.

The saying: what you resist persists is so, because, without exception, what is taking place is a part of your next life lesson. And until you accept that you don’t know, what life wants to teach you next, it will continue to persist. All life lessons are like building blocks. You need to know the first part of the math problem, before you can understand the second part, and so on. So next time you resist, it is simply a reminder that you are not yet ready for your next lesson. And life will bring you another opportunity later on, without fail. Acceptance comes from trusting that all is well. Resistance comes from the belief that not knowing is wrong.

The only way to always feel good and be glad, is to accept the responsibility that your thoughts create your life. When you truly understand this concept, and you deliberately practice choosing your thoughts, your life will become a fun adventure you’ll be thrilled to be on. But until then, don’t let your mind make you mad, just shift your thoughts and choose to feel glad!
You are magnificent!