The Fine Art of Shooting Yourself in the Foot

It’s mid-March already. How are those New Year’s Resolutions or intentions coming along? Are you like most people who have long-since abandoned their resolutions (sometime around Jan 28th) or are yours limping along, but with less vim and vigor than you would like? If you are going strong…you can stop reading. For the rest of you, this article gives some simple strategies to overcome the top 5 ways we shoot ourselves in the foot.nn1. PROCRASTINATIONnnTopping the list is our good friend, procrastination. Procrastination is a symptom of an underlying issue, so the key to curing procrastination is to know its cause. nnIs your procrastination the result of being overwhelmed by everything you have to do? Then try creating manageable chunks of work for yourself. Write out only the top 3-5 things per day that you must get done, rather than a list of 22 items you will carry around with you for weeks.nnIf your procrastination is the obstinate side of you saying “I don’t want to”, stop and listen. If you don’t have to do it, fine. Don’t. But if you still handle it then perhaps you need to reward yourself a little bit more. Dragging your heals may be a sign that y need to take better care of yourself or create more space in your lives. If you take care of a procrastination, give yourself a nice ‘spacious’ reward, like a walk, time to read a good book, or coffee with a long-missed friend.nn2. INDECISIONnnA close cousin of procrastination, indecision plagues many of us at critical times. We get caught in ‘circular thinking’—going round and round with all the pros and cons of a particular set of decisions—without getting anywhere in spite of the dizzying ride. nnThe first step is to get out of your head. The best decisions are made with a combination of gut instinct, emotion, and intellect. When there’s indecision, there’s likely a battle between what our head says is the ‘right, smart, or rational choice’ and what our heart says is the ‘right, good, or desirable choice’. nnWhen two sides are caught in a conflict, bring in a mediator. In this case, your instincts are the best mediator. Consider the decision. What in your heart-of-hearts (in your gut) is the decision you most want to make? Now, if you had no other choice but to make that decision, how would you make it work? Answering these questions honestly can help bring heart and head together for a truly great decision.nn3. FOLLOWING SECONDARY GOALSnnSecondary goals are basically consolation prizes. We pursue goals that won’t ultimately make us happy, yet seem easy or sensible. Secondary goals are often the result of our putting the unimportant before the important in our lives. We put off our happiness today, thinking that the sacrifice will lead to happiness tomorrow. But, tomorrow never comes.nnIdentify the 5 most important things that make your life full, happy, complete. How much of your daily energy is spent on these areas, versus any number of other ones? Are you pursuing goals today that won’t make you ultimately happy? Set one goal for yourself that will honor what is most important in your life.nn4. STORY TELLINGnnStory telling is about the stories we tell ourselves. We create entire stories in our minds and we believe them to be true. Such as, “I can’t ask him for help, he’s too busy to help me out”. Or, “I can’t go for the job I really want because it will mean a pay-cut and having to start all over again”. Or, “I really want to have a special relationship but I have to lose weight first”. nnThese stories may or may not be true (most likely not 100% true!). We self-sabotage by believing the story without testing the facts. We act AS IF the story is true when, in fact, we have NO EVIDENCE that it is true. nnThe key to beating this saboteur is awareness. You may already know what stories you are telling yourself. If you are not sure, pay attention and the next time you find yourself thinking a thought that includes a BUT (I really want x BUT, blah blah blah), you’ve found a story you are telling yourself. Test your story. Be a tough investigator. Do I know that this is true? How do I know it is true? Can I be absolutely, 100% certain that it is true? If it is not true, how would I act differently?nn5. TOLERATINGnnAs adults, we become experts at “putting up with” things in our lives. We tolerate an awful lot, either because we get too busy, feel too guilty, or just stop paying attention. Tolerating things keeps you stuck, and drained. Tolerations in our lives consume so much internal energy that we’re not able to move forward with our goals and ambitions. Thus, the cycle of tolerating continues.nnIf tolerations are zapping your vim and vigor for living your life, it’s time for a change. Write a list of everything you are currently putting up with. Choose 1 to eliminate today—by either doing it, delegating it, or detaching from it (let it go). Notice how much energy you get by eliminating items from your list. Now, keep going.nnShooting ourselves in the foot can become an art form. We get so gifted at it, we begin to expect it before we even start. But, patterns can be changed with awareness, and consistent action. Most likely, you’ve seen an old friend (your personal saboteur) somewhere in this article. Be willing to try new ways of approaching your life. Get creative and don’t forget to have fun.nnnnnThis article may be reproduced, in its entirety, along with the following information: nn© 2006, Shawn Driscoll, Succeed Coaching & Development. This article is provided courtesy of Shawn Driscoll, Career Success Coach and owner of www.succeedcoaching.com. Professionals: upgrade your work life today! We provide products and services to help you succeed at work, in business and in life. Sign up to receive your free Success Wise ezine—and get success tips, inspiration, and resources to skyrocket your success—at www.succeedcoaching.com.