Early Deprivation: What Can Someone Believe If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

Although someone might not be aware of what they believe about themselves, what they believe will still have a big impact on the experience that they have. What this illustrates is how powerful their beliefs are.

When it comes to why they wouldn’t be aware of what they believe about themselves, it can be because they haven’t taken the time to explore what is taking place within them. Due to this, when it comes to the life that they lead, it can just be seen as what their life is.

One Scenario

This can be a life that is anything but fulfilling, with them often finding it hard to get out of bed. So, they can have a job that is anything but rewarding and simply allows them to survive, but not thrive.

Additionally, they might not be treated well, and they could be expected to do far more than others. They are then going to give a lot but receive very little in return, which can mean that they often feel washed out and even exhausted.

Another Area

As for their relationships, they might not have any close friends and could spend a lot of time alone. Alte
atively, they could have a few friends, but they might not feel seen and heard, or valued when they are around them.

If they are in an intimate relationship, it could be very similar to how it is with their friends. But, although they won’t be treated well, the thought of ending their relationship might not cross their mind, or if it does, that could be as far as it will go.

A theme

Based on how they behave when they are at work, with friends and around their partner, if they have one, what will be clear is that they have the need to please others and don’t stand up for themselves. As a result of this, they ignore their own needs and put up with bad behaviour.

If, on the other hand, they didn’t have the need to please others and did assert themselves, their life is likely to be radically different. For their life to change, then, they will need to change their behaviour.

A Closer Look

Assuming that something was to happen and they ended up reflecting on their life, they might wonder why their life is this way. After doing some research, for instance, they could come to conclude that they have a number of limiting beliefs.

What they may find is that they have some, if not all, of the following beliefs -

• That they don’t deserve to exist
• That they don’t belong here
• That it’s not safe enough for them to exist
• That they are worthless
• That they are not enough
• That they are unlovable
• That it’s not safe enough for them to be assertive
• That their needs are bad
• That their feelings are bad
• That it’s not safe enough for them to be seen
• That they don’t deserve to be see

The Next Stage

After they have uncovered a lot of their limiting beliefs, they could conclude there is no reason for them to have these beliefs. This is something that could also be backed up if they were to reach out for support.

Even so, as irrational as these beliefs are, if they were able to go back in time and observe what it was like for them during their formative years, they might gradually understand why they have them. This may have been a stage of their life that was anything but nurturing.

A Brutal Time

Practically from the moment that they were born, they might have been neglected. This would have meant that they missed out on the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

As the years passed, they might have continued to be neglected, with them also being verbally put down and physically harmed. To handle what happened and, thus, keep it together and function, their brain would have repressed how they felt and a number of their needs.

Another Element

This would have also involved them losing touch with their connected, true self and developing a disconnected, false self. Furthermore, as they were egocentric, their underdeveloped brain would have personalised what happened, causing them to form a number of associations and beliefs.

In the beginning, they would have only formed associations as their brain was underdeveloped, and as time passed, and their brain became more developed, they would have formed beliefs. With this in mind, the associations and beliefs that they formed would have largely been a consequence of how they were treated at this stage of their life.

The Truth

If they hadn’t been egocentric at this stage of their life and their brain was fully developed, they would have still been wounded, but they would have probably been able to see that how they were treated wasn’t a reflection of their worth or lovability, or anything else for that matter. Instead, they might have realised that their mother and/or their father were deeply wounded human beings who were unable to provide them with the love that they needed.

For them to change their life, they will have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.