Article

Easy Ways To Overcome Self-Consciousness

Topic: Communication Skills and TrainingFeaturing peter-murphyPublished July 25, 2008

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A great many people have trouble with nervousness, shyness, and a host of other "issues" that make it difficult for them to interact with others. Well, there are a number of ways you can relieve yourself of that problem, and we are going to go over them now.

First off, you want to become comfortable with the idea of being around other people. An excellent way to start that is by getting involved in community theatre or by taking an acting class or a class in public speaking. The point is, you want to learn to feel at ease when speaking before a group of people. Either of these two methods can do that for you. With acting on the stage, it gives you the opportunity to essentially become someone else. You become a character; you become someone else, and that can be a real stress reliever for a lot of people. Then, gradually, you can transition this to a general feeling of ease when dealing with people in just about any setting.

It is said that the best way of overcoming shyness or a feeling of nervousness is to imagine your audience all in their underwear. Well, that can boomerang on you. For some people, nudity makes them nervous. The real key is this: you want to find something that calms you down. So, maybe it is simply taking a few deep breaths before speaking. Or, it could be a certain sound or image. If you grew up on a quiet, peaceful island and had a favorite fishing hole, maybe picturing that place - its sights and smells in your mind is the best way of relaxing when speaking with others.

Of course, maybe you are not shy at all; maybe you feel fine speaking to others. Okay, another thing to consider is how you use (of all things) pronouns. Stop and think; do you use "I" an awful lot, do nearly all the sentences you utter start with that? Well, that can be quite the turn off for a great many people. Even if you are a very interesting person, you have to yield the floor every once in a while. If all you talk about is you, people are going to lose interest in carrying on a conversation with you.

Next, there is the matter of learning to listen, and not just act like you are listening, but truly listen. It is said that there is nothing people enjoy more than talking about themselves. So, if you ask people about themselves, and then ask good, solid follow up questions that show that you are really listening to them, it will help you to build up your ability to connect with them. The last thing you want is something like asking someone what their favorite movie is, they say "Lord of the Rings", and then you go off on a twenty minute rave about your favorite rings! That is not connecting with another person.

Another thing that can help you in interacting with others is simply by being able to speak about a plethora of subjects. If you’re an Electrical Engineer, and that is all you can talk about, that will make dealing with others very hard. So, read the newspaper, watch the news, and see about following what is going on in the world today. If you do not have an opinion about who should be the next President of the United States, people are probably going to roll their eyes at you. If a woman asks you where you want to eat, and you say any place she wants is fine; you may think you are deferring to her. But, she may look at you as not having a strong opinion about anything. This does not mean you push, but at least offer a suggestion.

By following some of these simple steps, you can help make yourself a more confident person.

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