Effective Praise…How to Guide for Parents!

Tired of nagging your kids all the time? Do you feel like no matter how many times you tell them to clean their rooms, the rooms are never cleaned? Worn out from refereeing sibling fights? The answer is easier than you might think—Positive Parenting. Instead of spending your days disciplining the negative behaviors your children may be doing, create a positive parenting environment. For instance, let’s say your child has a messy room. Don’t nag your child until he cleans it up. Ignore the mess, and praise your child EVERY TIME you see him put something away. The theory behind Positive Parenting is simple—children crave their parent’s attention. To a child, negative attention is better than no attention. So even if your child is constantly in trouble for having a messy room, your child would much rather that happen than not have any attention from you at all.

So how does this work? Simple. Ignore the annoying behaviors your child does (e.g. have a messy room) and praise the positive behaviors. Every time your child picks up a toy, puts even one piece of clothing in the dirty clothes hamper, praise your child. This requires you to be more attentive to your child. You have to catch him being good. You, as the parent, have to be constantly looking for opportunities to praise your child. (Yes, this might be hard at first—you’re very used to focusing on the negative. You may even think that your child does nothing right. However, I’m sure there are things your child is doing well. You just need some time to remember them!)

To help speed up the process of creating a positive parenting environment, you will need to be most effective with your praise. Praise works best if it is specific and immediate. Saying, “Good job!” to your child is not clear and definite. The child may not even know what it is that he was doing well. More effective positive parenting uses praise such as, “Good job putting your trucks in the toy box.” This praise lets the child know exactly what he did well and that you believe this behavior is something he should continue to do. Praise also has to be immediate. Positive Parenting involves being in the moment with your kids. The second he puts his trucks in the toy box, you need to give the praise—not hours later when your child doesn’t even remember playing with trucks that afte
oon let alone putting them away.

Creating a positive parenting environment isn’t done ove
ight. Your child has taken many months or even years to develop his bad habits. Change is slow, but it is certain if you consistently follow these suggestions. Creating a positive parenting environment will help strengthen your bond with your child and create a happier household and life for all of you!