Embracing Failure

Past failures do not indicate future failures. In fact, I believe each time you fail, you get closer to success. Those who are willing to try, even if they fail, and keep trying, are those most set-up for success. For instance, in the fiction writing world, which is highly competitive, multiple failures to get into magazines or publications is called “paying your dues,” and successful writers know it's only a matter of trying and failing a number of times before they finally manage to be accepted. So, they recognize that each time you fail, you get closer to success. Does this phrase ring true for you: Each time you fail, you get closer to success? Why or why not? Take a moment to really consider this. How could you say it so that it feels best to you?

I often talk of failure this way with my life coaching clients at ConfidenceandClarityCoaching.com: “Failure is just one slippery plank on the bridge you take to success. Step on it and move forward.” Just because this board is slippery, doesn't mean you should turn back. What is a phrase you can repeat to yourself that will boost you up and keep you going, despite failures? Write it down, and memorize it. Say it whenever you feel down, in order to boost you up!

Each failure offers a lesson, and not necessarily the lesson of how not to fail, or what not to do. For instance, let's say I decided to try online dating, and I ended up meeting several different people, all who quickly decided I wasn't right for them. I might jump to the conclusion that online dating is just not for me.

However, what if I interpreted it as: “I am going to have to kiss a lot of frogs before I meet my prince?” Chances are, if I kept dating, I would eventually find a very compatible mate. And to find another lesson, I could look even deeper. What if all the men I dated were men I had messaged first? What if I then decided to make a point to go on dates with the men who messaged me, even if I found them, at first, to be less appealing than the ones I sought out? I might find that I had chemistry with the ones who first messaged me, and that they were more interested in me than the ones I had sought out. (This did, in fact, happen to me!)

Failure can be incredibly disappointing. You can have negative messages coming from your inner negative voice that tell you you'll never succeed, you don't have what it takes, and even that you are a loser! I offer you this feedback: acknowledge that voice, find out how it's trying to help you, and tell it you no longer need its type of help! Find a different way to motivate yourself, to pursue your goals – for instance, one driven by desire and curiosity, and habit! A life coach can be incredibly helpful after a failure, during this time of building you up, and nourishing your motivating desires. ConfidenceandClarityCoaching.com is a great option for building confidence, and getting clear about the lessons your life is providing you. Please check it out! And have a inspiring, experience-filled day!