Embracing The Challenge Of Overwhelm

Recently “Stefania” emailed me with an update on her life. She’s been helping an elderly parent adjust to new limitations. She has a high-pressure job. She has the demands of her nuclear family. “I feel totally overwhelmed!” she wrote.

Overwhelm. I’m hearing that word a lot from my clients these days. As though it’s not enough to just keep up with the regular conce
s of job and family, we’ve got rising gas and food prices, campaign rhetoric coming from every direction, and a succession of mind-numbing natural disasters to contend with. Overwhelm. Yep, that about sums it up.

What to do?

Well, there’s the option of treading water and waiting for it (whatever “it” is) to get better. I know I’ve tried that at various times in my life. Unfortunately, my arms and legs got tired much too quickly for this to be helpful as a long-term strategy.

Denial is an old favorite. It feels good for a while but has a way of creating even greater chaos and, in turn, greater overwhelm. Same with self-medicating with drugs and/or alcohol.

Okay, all this talk about strategies that don’t work is making me feel helpless and, yes, overwhelmed. For Stefania and anyone else out there who might be feeling overwhelmed, here are some strategies that definitely work. Some stand alone, others are part of an overall approach to keeping one’s balance when things get hard.

Grounding. Overwhelm often brings with it a sense of feeling scattered. This is where grounding comes in. When we ground ourselves, we’re reconnecting mind and body in a concrete way, easing that “spaced-out” feeling. Just thinking about connecting the physical body to the earth’s core eases the head-spinning. Capitalize on the subconscious’s love of metaphors and your results with be even better. For example, imagine a beam of Sacred Light coming in through the top of your head, flowing through the body, out through the soles of your feet, and pushing through the various layers of the earth until it reaches the very center of the earth. This image reinforces connection to God/Source/Great Spirit/The Universe from above, and a firm attachment to the planet from below. Or, you can imagine a cord coming from your tail bone and anchoring you to the center of the earth. Or roots growing from the bottom of your feet into the center of the earth. Try this the next time you’re feeling scattered. Works instantly.

Ease eye and ear overload. For several decades now, television news has come under the category of entertainment. The purpose of most newscasts is to get our attention. And what gets our attention more effectively than just about anything? Fear. Death. Destruction. You’ve seen the footage of disasters played over and over. These images sear themselves into our subconscious. The result is either numbness or anxiety, neither of which addresses overwhelm in a helpful way. Try getting your local news from the radio or newspapers, both of which are gentler on the psyche. Consider weekly newsmagazines to stay abreast of national and world events of note. Ultimately, if you unplug from the news machine altogether, you’ll still end up somehow knowing what is crucial for you to know, without the added clutter in your head of what you don’t need to know.n n Along the same lines, we are bombarded by sound just about everywhere we go. We don’t even notice it. Pay attention to the level of unnecessary noise in your life. Consider that most talk radio thrives on battles between the host and the callers. The angrier and more divisive the confrontation, the more dramatically the ratings climb. If you need some sound to keep you company, listen to music. If you’re in complete overwhelm, avoid music with lyrics and opt instead for classical or jazz without words. In a complicated world, simplicity can be a haven.

Declutter your environment. There’s a reason why this is the first step in any good feng shui. Chaotic surroundings make for chaotic thinking from a chaotic mind and exacerbate chaotic chi or energy in your environment. Do what you can to make your home a sanctuary where you can truly replenish and renew after a hard day out in the world. Even a spa day loses its effect when you walk in the front door of a messy home. Cleaning up can mitigate that helpless feeling of nothing being within your control.

Do one thing at a time. We’ve become addicted to multi-tasking. If you don’t believe me, just try eating your dinner without watching television or reading at the same time. Feels weird, doesn’t it? Juggling too many things at once activates our flight or flight response and consequently ratchets up the body’s stress hormones. We then become accustomed to all that adrenaline and cortisol pulsing around inside of us and actually miss it when we don’t feel it. In truth, nothing ages us faster than those stress hormones. Nothing. Stress hormones can wear out our organs and etch deep wrinkles into the skin. Doing one thing at a time is an excellent mindfulness practice that reinforces being able to handle life. Be. Here. Now.

Change the picture in your mind. When you feel yourself spiraling into overwhelm, try creating a metaphor for what you’re experiencing and then transforming it. For example, you can visualize yourself trying to spin a number of plates on tall sticks as a metaphor for all the things you are feeling responsible for. You can visualize those plates slowing down and becoming still, putting them down, one by one; or you can visualize handing off one plate at a time to assistants waiting nearby. This type of mental gymnastics is one of the foundations of hypnotherapy: What the mind sees, the body follows. Remember that your nervous system and your brain cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Think of overwhelm as the mind-body connection working against you. By changing the picture in your mind, you can make that mind-body connection work for you.n n Get a higher perspective. In spite of the dreadful news that crawls along the bottom of the CNN scree
24/7, the sun comes up every morning and sets every night. We are so lucky that from this area beaches, redwood forests, state and regional parks are all completely accessible. A few hours in nature helps recalibrate our settings. Mother Earth has a rhythm that was in place way before we got here with our messes and will continue long after we leave the planet. What a relief! A trip up a mountain can result in a 360 degree view. From that perspective, think about all the people in all the houses and offices and cars below, each with their own problems, many of which are much more burdensome than yours. Then think about the massive rock you’re standing on and how long it’s been there, strong and silent, how many creatures and trees and plants its home to. Ground yourself. Imagine drawing strength from the rock beneath your feet and energy from the sun above. Priceless therapy.

Write! A daily handwriting practice can be an oasis of control in a seemingly out-of-control world. Jou
aling helps provide a daily “dump” of all the craziness so it doesn’t just sit inside of us. In times of overwhelm, it is more important than ever to stay focused on what is working in our lives. Taking a few minutes at bedtime to jot down a few things you were most grateful for that day is the perfect way to set your system up for a good night’s sleep.

Assess and prioritize. Sometimes when we are in a groove of doing it all, we forget to stop to assess and prioritize. Are all the things you’re taking responsibility for really your responsibility? If you can delegate some pieces of your load, do so. This may sound simple but it’s easy to forget that you don’t necessarily have to do it all just because you can. If you absolutely have to be doing everything you’re doing, then be ruthless in prioritizing. You may benefit from some EFT to diminish burdens of guilt or anxiety about not getting enough done or not being able to do it all. n n And my final suggestion? “Take a deep, deep breath, and just begin to relax…” Of course! And if you can make it a good, diaphragmatic (belly) breath, so much the better.