Embracing the Fear of No Contact

If you’ve gone through a break up recently, you’ve probably heard of the No Contact Rule. In case you haven’t, it basically involves keeping yourself from contacting your ex for about one month. During this time you focus on yourself. This allows your ex to have the opportunity to miss you as well as giving you the time to heal.

Simple enough, right?

Well, for a lot of people, using the No Contact rule can be one of the hardest things out there. Why is this? Well, quite frankly, it’s frightening.

I mean, if you’re trying to make things better with your partner, who right now may be acting distant and cold, how can you pulling away actually help?

What if this “dangerous” move just severs any remaining connection that the two of you happen to have?

Well, these are common concerns, and ones that I’ve had myself when putting the No Contact rule into action. But let me tell you that this is one of those cases where what you fear and dread is actually what you most need to do.

You see, what you’re doing right now isn’t working, is it? All the phone calls, the emails, the desperate pleas to your ex. Those aren’t getting you the results you want. In fact, I’d venture to say that they are actually driving your ex further away from you, right?

Well, that’s why you need to do something different. Something radically different. And isn’t that what the No Contact Rule is? It goes agains everything you feel in your gut. It goes against everything that isn’t already working.

And that’s exactly why it will work.

So, you really don’t have to be afraid of the consequences. After all, what do you really have to lose? If what you’re doing right now isn’t working, why not try something different?

So, if you want to make the No Contact rule work, take a moment right now to resolve to give it a try. Just for one month, keep yourself from contacting your ex and just spend the time working on yourself.

Trust in the process, and know that even though it may not seem like you are actively doing anything to get your ex back, the seeds have been planted in their mind. While you’re putting No Contact into action, they will start to grow and before you know it your ex will start to miss you and finally become more responsive to you again.