Father Wounds: Can A Man Lose The Will To Live If He Had An Abusive Father?

Although a man has been given the gift of life, it doesn’t mean that he sees life as a gift. If he was asked to share his thoughts on life, he could say that it is more like a curse than a gift.

But, even if this was not something that was to come out of his mouth, it could be what would come out of if he was able to articulate his experience. Either way, what this is going to show is that he doesn’t live a life that is full of joy, pleasure, love and connection.

A Troubled Existence

In general, he could feel down and even be heavily depressed, with it being a challenge for him to get out of bed. During these moments, he might not be able to think of a reason to get up.

What could get him moving is the fear of what will happen if he doesn’t get out of bed and get moving. So, this could show that he fears that he would lose his job if he stayed where he was.

Going Through the Motions

This might not be a job that brings him any level of fulfilment, though; it could find it soul-destroying. It could be a job that doesn’t require much thought, so he might be able to run on autopilot for most of the day.

Other than the money and perhaps the human connection, it won’t do much else for him. When he is there he could look forward to the end of the day and perhaps the weekend, if he only works during the week.

Zoning Out

When he does have time off, he might not make the most of the free time that he does have. This is then going to mean that he won’t do what he can to improve his life in any way, he can just engage in different escapes.

Thus, he could watch a lot of TV, eat a lot of junk food, and spend time with people who are very similar. From the outside, it can seem as though he is wasting his life, yet he won’t really want to be here anyway, so he won’t appreciate his life or himself.

Another Reality

When a man experiences life in this way, it could be said that he will have given in to how he feels. However, even though a man is this way, it doesn’t mean that he won’t do his best to run away from what is going on for him.

Consequently, he will rely on his willpower to drive him and this can allow him to appear to be the opposite of how he really is. Still, this is not to say that this is something that will consciously take place, as it can be something that unconsciously takes place.

A Different Response

What this means, then, is if the man above spends a lot of time in his parasympathetic nervous system, this man spends a lot of time in his sympathetic nervous system. The former will often be in a passive, helpless state and the latter will spend a lot of time in an active, hopeful state.

Thanks to this, he is generally not going to find it hard to get out of bed and to grab life by the horns, so to speak. He could have a fulfilling job, spend a lot of time ‘developing’ himself and have a number of friends.

One Step Away

Nonetheless, every now and then something could happen that knocks him right down, with him finding it hard to get out of bed. When this takes place, he will be almost identical to the other man.

He will be like an inflatable toy that has been punctured by a needle; he will be on his knees. It will be as if he has a power button on his back and this button will have been pressed.

The Trigger

As to why he will be this way, it could show that he has experienced some kind of setback. For example, he may have been rejected, had a break up, been fired, or not been able to achieve a certain goal.

What this is likely to illustrate is that while he will appear to be very different to the man mentioned previously, he just has the ability to keep his true feelings or his inner reality at bay. Once this surface level is ruptured, he will fall into what he has been trying so hard to avoid.

A Brutal Experience

Irrespective of whether a man is always down or falls down every now and then, once his mind's power is no longer enough and his defences are breached, he won’t have the will to live. He will be in a lot of pain and he won’t be able to see a way out.

Calling it a day and ending his life can be seen as the only way for him to be free from the emotional hell that he is in. At this point, it could seem strange as to why he would feel this way.

What going on?

What this could show is that his early years were not very nurturing, with this being a time when he was physically harmed by his father. The person who he would have looked towards to love, protect and guide him would have deeply traumatised him.

To top it off, he wouldn’t have been able to fight back or to defend himself and he wouldn’t have been able to get away. He simply had to tolerate what was going on and he would have lost his will or his desire to be alive.

A Natural outcome

Yet, if this is what was taking place at home, an environment where he was supposed to be safe and cared for, it is not a surprise. To handle what was going on, part of him would have died.

He would then have physically been there but a large part of his being would have given up. Now that he is an adult, who he was will now be an inner part of him and it will be like a heavyweight.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.