Find the Real You

Putting ourselves first isn't something most of us tend to have much time to do these days - there are so many other people to think of first. If you were asked, how you would describe your style, or what you would do with the week that is free of any responsibilities - childcare included - how would you reply? Would you know the answers at once - or would the fact that you have been busy thinking about the needs of everybody else means that your own feelings have taken a back seat? Usually we are only promoted to examine our lives when change occurs - perhaps in the form of a divorce, illness or a new job, But even if none of these apply, every now and again it is a good idea to take a look inwards, to check that you are on track for the life you really want to lead. This doesn't have to mean turning your life upside down - but if you have gradually lost touch with the person you used to be, you might just benefit from a slight personal shake-up. Here are the 5 steps to real you: Have an Attitude Audit Take a look at the attitudes, reactions and responses that no longer work for you. Have you developed a cynical, jaded streak - after being let down by someone, say - that is masking the optimistic outlook on life you used to have? Have you developed a tendency to be sarcastic as a defense? Root out anything that isn't doing the real you any favors and consider ways to change. Let the Past go Unless we had a particularly painful past, most of us don't need years of therapy to make peace with our past - if we are honest enough with ourselves. Write the list of who would you like to stop blaming or resenting, or who you want to forgive - this can indulge yourself - and then work on doing just that. We can and should learn from the past - but it is the now and forever that's important. Make Space Making the most of the real you might mean a clear-out physically, as well as emotionally. Take a couple of hours (or a couple of afternoons - depending on how much you have accumulated!) to clear out clothes and belongings that are no longer 'you' (or never were) and give them to charity. You will be surprised at the mental clarity this will give you - as well as the extra space. Work Out Your Values Another important part of being true to yourself is to work out your core values. One way to do this is to recognize what you feel you must have in your life - beyond physical necessities, that is. For instance, are stability and security a must? Or perhaps a sense of uncertainty and adventure are your ideals? While this may not fit in with family life, you could find excitement in the right hobby.rnBreak the Boundaries Our lives are shaped by what we think we can or cannot do and these can become restrictive over the years. If you feel you are stuck in a rut that's masking the real you, now's the time to break out. Sometimes negative beliefs are so deeply ingrained, we cannot recognize them. But we can train ourselves to be aware of self-limiting thoughts and stop them in their tracks. Your thoughts and beliefs have created who you are now. If you feel you have outgrown them, work at changing them - and reveal the real you!