Finding a Friend in a Spouse

It has been said before, that one of the hardest things to find in this world is a friend; the easiest is an enemy. Friends are bound by common ties, a kinship, a shared experience, interest or time. A friend is another person you have high regard for and trust. A spouse on the other hand in generally described by wiki as a partner in a marriage. In jest, a spouse can be referred to as the “bitter half”. Web research shows in predominantly Christian countries that the divorce rate 17% for Spain is, in Italy it is 12% and the US a staggering 43%. The Philippines on the other hand does not allow divorce. But www.attyatwork.com and www.inquirer.net says that by 2007 the number of applicants for annulment of marriage reached 7,753. As some discussion forums theorize if divorce was allowed in the Philippines that we would go by the way of the US statistics since we live very highly exposed to their particular culture. In any case, the point being made is that the rate of failure is alarming. Measures for intervention for failing marriages consists of a gamut programs of consultants, doctors, therapists, programs and at times priests and nuns. Still not enough it seems. My take on it is that making a marriage work will always be difficult. Making a life and raising children can be the greatest burden or best gift in life and in my belief that the best intervention would be to find a friend in your betrothed. My favored definition of a friend is someone who knows everything about you but still likes you. People marry for many reasons, some for love, some for security and some for sheer desperation. Once you’re in it and you find yourself wanting more then maybe you can start making your partner into a friend. The ingredients are actually already there, you just have to mix it. www.improvingyourworld.com warns that this will take time and energy. Essentially it will take “quality” time. The suggestion is not to go on a date since that only improves your love life. To make a best friend there should be lots of laughter blended with a bit of excitement served on a plate of common interests. That what friends do. Even in the uncanniest of matches a common ground can still be found. A daily ritual of light heartedness should follow this up. Save a few minutes in a day for that sought out laughter. Find a fun time. The next method is to avoid stressful situations. Bickering never solved anything and it never will. Avoid confrontations and arguments that can cause any further disagreements. www.associatedcontent.com adds to this with the advice to stop insulting your spouse to your friends. A common practice when messing around with the boys, or talking shop with the girls. This is something you would not do with your posse so don’t speak wrongly about your spouse and the same mantle of camaraderie will ensue. Talking as a friend also will help. If you can talk about the silliest of things with your pals for hours then it should be quite easy to treat your spouse with the same courtesy. Finally, be the greatest cheerleader. Friends do that for friends and never stop. More often than not, the romance dies and the sexual drive slows down and the common interplay of communication signals becomes shrugs and stares. So that’s it. Simplicity can be a useful tool in rebinding ties with use the fundamentals of friendship. It may be hard to accept at first, but always remember that when the time comes that you think that your spouse has become unfamiliar to you then try to make a friend by saying a simple hello.