Finding a Meaningful Relationship: 4 Tips for Looking in the Right Places

Many people are looking for meaningful relationships. Good relationships can lengthen your life span, impact your health, and bring great satisfaction and joy to your life. But sometimes it can be tough to figure out where to look.

When you are looking for a meaningful relationship the key is to start looking in the right places. Here are some tips:

1. Look in places where you are likely to find people who share your beliefs about what is important.

For example, if it is important that the person share your religious beliefs, you would most likely find them at church. If you value education, you'd find them in educational settings, lectures, alumni groups, libraries, or other places where educated people go. If you value family activities, you may meet other single parents at sporting events school functions and so on.

Be aware that you are most likely not going to meet a Mr. or Ms. Right in a nightclub or bar. What you're likely to find there is a drinking buddy.

2. Let your friends and relatives introduce you to people they know.

Let those close to you know what you are looking for: what qualities, what values and what type of relationship you want.

3. Put yourself in positions where you can meet people who share your interests.

For example, join travel clubs, dance clubs, photography clubs, cycling groups, singles clubs through churches, or take non-credit classes on topics that interest you. If you are new to an area, join the Newcomer's Club. Volunteer to help with a cause you believe in. You may not meet the person of your dreams immediately, but you'll be establishing some connections with others of like mind.

4. Open yourself to meeting lots of new people.

The key is to have an attitude of openness to meeting new people. Your attitude is one of the most important factors.

Don't go "on the hunt" for that special relationship. Desperation isn't very appealing. Go with the intention of meeting and getting to know lots of new people.

Finding a significant relationship is just like meeting any new friend. You won't fit with everyone. Recognize that just as in any kind of networking, the person you are looking for just may not be in this group. But someone in the group may know the person you are looking for.

Talk to people, get to know them, and be open to meeting new friends. You may need to meet a lot of people before you find the person of your dreams. That's O.K. Don't get discouraged! Just keep meeting people. After all, really meaningful relationships are worth waiting for.

(c) 2008 Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D.