Long pauses. Awkward silences. Accidentally bringing up your ex and how badly she broke your feeble little heart at a Jazon Mraz concert in college. These are the things men dread happening during a first date. Unfortunately, many guys set themselves up for failure and uncomfortable situations by trying so damn hard to play by the dating rules. You put on your best clothes (you know, the Target version of the stuff advertised in GQ), pick her up at her place and do the whole wine-and-dine routine. And what do you get? Two people bored to tears, trying to think of something to say until the basket of bread arrives. Boring first date ideas make for awkward, cringe-inducing dates.
Exciting, out-of-left-field ideas, however, make an impression. What sounds more stimulating: dinner at some snooty restaurant followed by an excruciating Julia Roberts rom-com or a day at the beach followed by homemade s’mores? You might be thinking “Yeah, but women want to date adult men who do adult things a.k.a. spend shitloads of money” and you’d be right to a certain extent. There certainly are many women out there who prefer the ho-hum, extravagant first date. Most exciting, fun girls, however, would thrill at the mention of an out of the ordinary date. You’ve got one chance to show her a good time before you’re back at the bar (or Plenty of Fish message board) hitting on the next woman. Do something that feels less like an interview and more like a fun time. She’ll definitely remember go-karting more than she will roast duck at Chez Moulah. Read on for some first-rate first date ideas.
Bring Her Into Your World
What does dinner and a movie say about your interests? Unless you’re some sort of dual food-and-movie critic (and if so, you’ve got a kick-ass job), this dating cliché says nothing about you. You’ve got to stand out. Sure, you can toss a glass of wine at your waiter or shine a laser pointer at the movie screen, but doing so will only make you look like an asshole.
A good way to make an impression is to bring her into your world. While you don’t want to do something that she’ll have potentially no interest in (e.g. Xbox, a paintball tournament with your buds), you’re sure to look interesting involving her in an activity that reveals something about your personality, interests, goals, etc.
Are you a licensed pilot? Take her for a ride (Mile High Club jokes are up to you) in the sky. Metalhead? Invite her to a concert and headbang your way to her heart. Not only will this reveal something unique about you, but you’ll have actual things to talk about on the phone a few days later (especially if you manage to crowdsurf together; now that’s romantic.)
Really, don’t you want this girl to like you for you? There’s no better way to figure this out then to expose her to your world, no matter how dorky or seemingly lame it happens to be. Whether you take her surfing or to a “Lord of the Rings” convention, she’ll know right off the bat what you’re about.
Don’t forget, however, that this date is not about you; it’s a shared experience. If your plan is to take her hunting and she’s some sort of deer whisperer, think of something you’ll both enjoy.
Do Something New
Is there anything less sexy/thrilling than an overly planned date? Sure, you want to look like you’re on top of things (e.g. setting a date, meeting up on time, not wearing your “Legalize It” t-shirt), but you also want to surprise her. What better way to amaze her than to try something totally new together.
Like the “bring her into your world” date, the “let’s try something new” date is a welcome departure from standard dinner-and-a-movie fare. This date, however, will be full of surprises for both of you.
Say, for example, you decide to meet up at a salsa dancing class, neither of you having any experience. You’ll enjoy something new together and laugh at the inevitable kinks in the plan. Eventually your two left feet will meet her two left feet and you’ll fall down on each other. You’ll have a shared experience and the memory will stay in her head forever. What’s the most exciting thing that can happen at a pricy dinner, finding a thumb in your soup? Spice things up by doing something new together and you’ll look like a fun-loving guy open to different things (translation: second date worthy.)
Keep Her Guessing
Spontaneity is sexy. Nothing will intrigue a woman more than keeping her guessing. You can accomplish this not only by acting simultaneously interested and indifferent but by taking her out on a date with no clear path a.k.a. “the random date.”
First date tips for men is to show up on time, but leave the day/night open for exploration. For example, you can meet up at some landmark (e.g. a coffee shop, public park, anywhere but a creepy shack in the woods) and just let the date happen. See a fro-yo place that looks interesting? Pop in and enjoy a treat together. Happen to walk by a music venue? Step inside and enjoy the show. Weird novelty shop nearby? Put on goofy masks/hats/clothes and take pictures. She’ll post it on her Facebook page and outdo all her friends.
How many photo opportunities do you get sitting in a booth at Applebee’s? Not many (unless you’ve got food in your teeth, and in that case you’re SOL.). Make your date an adventure she’ll never forget. More likely than not it will lead to other “adventures” (wink) you’ll never forget.
Forget Ordinary First Date Ideas: Make an Impression
If you want a second date, you’ve got to not blow the first one. Luckily, you now know better than to take her to some overpriced dinner followed by whatever “Sex and the City” movie happens to be out. Do your own thing and you’re sure to stand out in her list of available dudes. Keep surprising her and that list will narrow down to one before you know it. Just save laser tag with your roomies for date four.