First Date Jitters

If it’s been awhile since you’ve dated you might feel a little nervousness about getting back into the dating scene and more specifically your first date. If you’re like most women who’ve been in a long-term relationship, a first date is like visiting Mars, it’s foreign to you. You’re probably wondering what you wear, what you will say. What if he doesn’t like you? What if you don’t like him? It’s worst than having to give a speech or get a root canal.

Don’t despair, he’s probably feeling the same way and there are some ways to alleviate the dating jitters.

1. Think of the date as two people coming together to get to know each other. Treat him like you would treat anyone you first meet – with courtesy and respect. Think of this meeting as a chance to get to know the person, not as the beginning of a long relationship or marriage (even though it could be). That type of thinking will set you up for failure.

2. Take the focus off you (when you feel nervous you’re focusing on you) and put your attention on him. Ask questions that will help you get to know him. Don’t barrage him with an endless stream of questions but ask about those things that interest you and leave him time to ask about you.

3. Relax, have fun and laugh. Don’t put pressure on yourself to entertain, be funny or interesting. Just let it all come naturally. When you are relaxed he’ll be relaxed.

4. Keep your attention on him. Don’t look around the room at other people or talk about other people. Stay tuned to him and he will love it. If you want a man to be interested in you – be interested in him.

The trick is to think of dating as just getting to know another person. It may or may not turn into a second date but if you take away the pressure of making it work the whole experience will turn out to be pleasurable. And if you’re lucky – he might be Mr. Right.