Five Golden Rules For Mastering Your Conversation Skills

When it comes to getting a girlfriend, one of the biggest obstacles that men face is not understanding how to lead the conversation and move it forward. This is the bottom line: If you can’t carry on a cool conversation that moves things in the right direction, you can't be super successful with women. But if your conversation skills are lacking, don't worry - I can give you a few powerful tactics to help you out, and with some practice, you can become a master of conversing with girls. Don’t worry if you don’t have a natural “gift of gab.” With consistent effort and practice over time, you can get better results with women than your silver-tongued brethren. Once you develop the core skills that I'm about to explain, you'll be ready to strike up a conversation with a girl in virtually any situation. One of the most important things to keep in mind when you talk to women is that you want to seem ORIGINAL. Don't ask the same predictable questions or use any of the same "lines" that she's heard from all the other guys. When you use these methods of "creative conversation," she'll never know what you're going to say next - and this stimulates her curosity and interest in you. This keeps her guessing, and wards off the biggest "attraction destroyer" for a woman: Boredom. You may not be “The Most Interesting Man In The World” from the Dos Equis commercials, but you’ll be a lot more interesting than most guys who don’t practice these conversation keys. Let’s jump into it - here are five of my favorite ways to keep a conversation moving forward: 1. Observe and be perceptive You'll never "run out of steam" during the conversation, and struggle to figure out what to say next, if you pay attention to the environment you're in -- and the people, places and things around you. . It’s a rare man who actually does this, and it’s a very attractive trait to women. Just make sure whatever you say is accurate and genuine, and you don’t have an agenda behind it. Don't underestimate the power of the female "B.S. detector," which is hard-wired into them. (This is especially true with very attractive women, who have a ton of experience with talking to men and can spot a phony a mile away.) If she feels that you're not being truthful, or that you're trying to manipulate her into hooking up with you, it's game over. 2. Ask her questions that are non-threatening and genuine A lot of girls who regularly go out to bars and clubs have already heard the "PUA" routines from guys who learned them from books, or on the internet. Some of these PUA routines are in fact quite clever (and can be effective) - assuming she hasn't heard them before. But you must remember that any lines or routines you use must be congruent with your personality and body language. You must project confidence and playfulness. The most clever "pickup routine" in the world will fail miserably if the guy delivering it is fidgeting nervously and can't maintain eye contact. All you really need to do is ask authentic questions that demonstrate that you're sincerely interested in her (and her goals, personal interests, and perhaps a "hidden talent" or passion that you can get her to reveal. Also keep in mind that a woman needs to feel comfortable with you, in order for her to feel a connection. (And if you're obviously not comfortable in your own skin...and confident in yourself...there's no way she's going to feel comfortable with the conversation.) True "players" don’t rely on canned lines, they have the confidence to express genuine opinions and questions. 3. Be an active listener Observe the interactions between guys and girls the next time you're hanging out in a bar or club. You'll notice that in most cases, the guy does most of the talking -- usually in an effort to impress her. But the conversation game isn't won by being the smoothest talker, or trying to "earn points" by bragging about who you know, the car you drive, the money you make, etc. It's also about being an attentive listener. This may not come easily or naturally to you at first - especially if you’re an extrovert, or are nervous in social situations. Even if you have to bite your tongue waiting for someone to finish their thought or ideas, do it. One of the rules of human behavior is that people appreciate it when other people LISTEN to them, and this is especially true with women, who really appreciate a guy who seems interested in what they have to say. When you practice being an active listener, you’ll become more relaxed in all social situations. 4. Don’t let her see you sweat, keep it light Most women spend a lot of time worrying about any number of topics. A guy who can keep her mind off the worries of the world is someone she’ll want to spend more time with. Think of Hollywood icons such as Sylvester Stallone, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood, or John Wayne -- these guys never seemed worried or anxious, and were able to handle any situation that arose. And they added an occasional dose of good humor to show they were in control. A woman will follow your social lead, based on how you come across and make her feel. Women like being around guys who make them feel safe and secure - and you can do this by staying calm, cool and relaxed. 5. Stay in the moment and always be "present" (not distracted) Men have a tendency to let their thoughts drift in a million different directions, rather than focusing on what's right in front of them -- in this case, a woman you want to connect with. If you're the type of guy who gets anxious or tongue-tied around hot girls, you might allow your thoughts to drift all over the place ("Does this girl like me?" "What if she has a boyfriend?" "Do I sound like a total dork?" Etc.). This mental chatter prevents you from being truly focused on the person or conversation at hand. This means that even though you might be standing right in front her, you are not truly "present." And when women sense this, it's a big turn-off. Stay focused on her and make a conscious effort to eliminate the mental chatter going on inside your head. You must stay fully engaged in the present moment, contributing to the conversation in a genuine way, sharing your thoughts, and acknowledging what she has to say. Don't behave like most guys do -- nodding your head like a brainless "bobble head" doll and simply saying "uh-huh" or "yeah, totally" once in a while. You're not fooling women when you take this lazy, distracted approach to the conversation. You'll seem apathetic (i.e. you really don't care about what she's saying), or just plain clueless and socially awkward. This certainly won't score you any points with her, and she'll probably want to excuse herself from the conversation before long. Mastering the art of conversation will yield benefits beyond scoring with women. These skills are also essential for forging business relationships and making progress with your other goals. Everyone loves to be listened to and appreciated, whether it's a babe you meet at the bar, or the guy sitting across the desk from you, interviewing you for a job. A final note: while becoming a great conversionalist is an important step towards becoming awesome with women, it's not the only weapon you need in your arsenal. I don't want you to spend years flailing around "in the wilderness" trying to apply these tactics without proper guidance. What you need is a thorough, comprehensive game plan which will help you go from the opening conversation, all the way to a successful seduction. In the long run, improving your overall level of confidence, and your lifestyle, will attract far more women than memorizing a few clever or sneaky "routines" to make a woman drop her guard. I do believe in good, solid information that can help you become the rare man who can attract - and keep - a quality woman in your life. A Few More Secrets To Help You Attract More Girls... Guys who are baffled about the effective ways of getting the girl should best become adept in the skill of dating and picking up girls. Where picking up girls is concerned, the men should keep on practicing the different methods and techniques that pick up artists use to get the job done. The tricky talent for dating needs guys to have the know-how plus the perfect pick up line plus the attitude; all these are required for one guy to become just like the talented pick up artists. How, then, can any guy get the girl? Before you even put one foot in front of the other to approach the girl you like, you first have to check yourself. Do you look presentable - with trendy clothes that show you as a fashion-forward guy, not a fashion victim? Do you make it a point to dress appropriately for the place? Do you wear clean clothes that show you as a decent and well-mannered guy? These are questions that need resounding yeses as positive answers to the questions can greatly help you get the girl. After checking your sense of style, you must then look into your body language to help you in getting the girl. Do you carry yourself with a confident air that tells the girl you are a person with authority? Do you walk with a certain strut that commands attention immediately and tells the ladies that you are the alpha male? Do you look at the girls straight in the eyes when talking to them; do you control your hands so that they do not betray your anxious and nervous feelings? If you answer yes, you are close to getting there. The third tip in getting the girl, just like the previous two, happens before meeting a girl you like. You have to broaden your network of friends for social proof. This step is critical as it helps a lot in making girls take notice of your worth as a member in the social scene. When a girl sees that you are sociable and that your friends enjoy your company, your “attractiveness points” go up in the girl’s eyes. Thus, make lots of friends and don’t just limit yourself to guys; make friends with lots of girls as well - this tells the girl that you are a loved and valued member of the group. The last step you need to take in getting the girl requires that you use a catchy pick up line to grab her interest. In this case, you have to choose from a wide array of effective openers to make her pay you some attention. You can pick from the following themes: naughty, funny, sweet, corny, and many more. It is best that you pick a line from each theme and keep them ready just in case you even find yourself in a tight spot. In this sense, you have to pick the right opener to fit a particular situation. Also, make sure to utter the pick up line with enough confidence and self-assurance to give the opener a certain impact which will have a positive effect on the girl you are speaking to. In summary, the tricks in getting girls to notice you are not so mysterious. There are no tried and tested pick up lines that give hundred percent success. You really have to do concrete things to get the job done. You have to dress to go with the latest fashion; carry yourself in a self-assured manner; and have lots and lots of friends. All these things plus an interesting pick up line can help you achieve amazing results with girls.