Article

Five Simple Things You Can Do to Make a Relationship Work

Topic: ForgivenessPublished December 29, 2009

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Relationships can be very difficult. Simply taking two completely unique people and tossing them together all their habits is bound to result in at least a little friction. Learning the secrets of making a relationship work is very key. You can always work things out no matter what stage things are at. Follow these five tips to help create a sturdy base for your relationship. The first thing is honesty. Most successful relationships have at their core a strong commitment to honesty. Both partners must be devoted to be open and honest with each other. Yes, things like money and cheating are important to be honest about, but don't neglect the small issues too. Even if there is something seemingly insignificant that you are hiding, it will have an impact on your relationship. Try to think of it like this: Every little thing that you hold back from your partner is another piece of yourself that you can't offer to the relationship. Over time these little things will begin to add up. Then you find yourself one day completely alienated and unable to relate to your partner. The second step is integrity. This involves keeping your word and following up on your promises. Just like the first point, you have to mind the small things not just the major commitments. Every time a promise is broken, it will take away from the trust in the relationship and contribute to a mounting pile of resentment, which will only cause the relationship to crumble. The moral here is to only make promises that you actually plan on keeping to your partner, not just offers to keep them happy. If you have questions that you will be able to do something, tell your partner and be honest about it. Third, take an interest in what your partner likes doing. Relationships require work and effort. Odds are good that your partner has a few interests that you do not feel as passionate about as they do. Try to compromise from time to time and do things with your partner that you might not personally be interested in. Your boyfriend probably knows that you're not really interested in watching the fight or hearing him talk about his fishing trip. When you let him express himself (without grumbling about it), you send him a message that you care about his happiness. Fourth, focus on the good qualities about your partner. Sure your partner isn't perfect, but who is? The point is that focusing on all these little small problems will not only make him feel lousy, but it will make you question if you should be seeing someone who keeps losing his cell phone or doesn't put away the laundry the "right" way. Instead, remind yourself of those times he was there for you when you needed him or stood up for you when you were in trouble. By constantly reminding yourself of all the good things about your partner, you are separating your relationship from all the passing ones out there and building a strong long-term relationship. Finally, take the time to really listen to your partner. You shouldn't feel as if you have to make everything better. From time to time, we all just need to know that someone is there for us and understands what we are going through. Begin practicing listening to the things your partner says about his life while avoiding the urge to judge or criticize him. Just listen with curiosity without trying to fix his problems or make things better. Knowing how to make a relationship work is, at the core of it, just learning to love and accept your partner fully without demanding that he be something else.

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