Fixing a Broken Friendship

Friendship isn't a unique relationship in addition to all the other ones. In fact, friendship is more than that. When any of your relationships can become friends, then it has reached the pinnacle of that relationship.

I don't have a wife, children, parents, and then friends. No, each of these other relationships has become friends too. I want to be a friend to my children, to my parents, and certainly to my wife. I married my best friend. She is my wife, but she is also my friend.

But how do you repair a damaged or broken friendship? I'll give you several ideas.

REPAIRING A FRIENDSHIP

To begin with, a real friend is a treasure. You don't throw a friend away because your feelings got hurt or you are unwilling to discuss a misunderstanding. The friendship itself must become bigger than the sum of its parts. It must become bigger than you. It must become bigger than your friend.

Don't let the silly, often insignificant negatives destroy your friendship. The relationship itself is important. It is worth fighting for. It is worth sacrificing for. To me, if it's worth the fight, it is worth the sacrifice. If you can't sacrifice to maintain the friendship, then maybe it wasn't true friendship to begin with.

Be willing to apologize even if the problem isn't your fault. Again, the friendship is larger than who is at fault. If you can heal the friendship with an apology, then do so. Don't wait for them to realize how wrong they are, or even to admit their share of guilt. Focus on healing the friendship.

Go to them. Make the first move. Raise the white flag first. However you want to look at it, be willing to do what it may take to heal the relationship. Many friendships stay wounded or destroyed because both waited for the other to make the first move and neither did. Swallow your pride and be a friend.

Tell your friend how important his or her friendship is. Remind each other that the friendship is more important than the pain you may have inflicted. A simple reminder of how special the friendship is will go a long way to soften a hard heart.

Be willing to take the higher ground. I have a policy in my marriage that if there is a disagreement in morals or values, we always take the higher one. Always. This is for the sake of the relationship and friendship. If you can't come up to your friend's level, you will begin to drift apart. Though the higher ground may seem excessive to me, I feel that the friendship is more important than my personal stance. The higher ground is always safer anyway.

When repairing a friendship you must remember that together you can accomplish so much more than either can separately. A friendship is full of synergy-when together, you both are greater than the sum of your parts.