Following the Four Agreements

Have you ever heard of the four agreements? This set of very simple concepts can literally transform your life; profound, yet extremely difficult to practice on a daily basis. “You need a very strong will in order to adopt the four Agreements – but if you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing.” From The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz’s classic book of Toltec wisdom.

1st Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word

I pride myself on usually keeping my word. However, I am often disappointed in business and even in friendship, when another person blatantly promises to do something – and then doesn’t even acknowledge that they cannot do it. They just don’t keep their word.

But there is another aspect to being impeccable with your word that I often fall prey to. That is expressing my truth, saying exactly what I want, need or desire – in the moment. Sometimes I don’t want to hurt or upset somebody else, sometimes I fear the consequences, so I keep my words to myself – and then I may spend days returning in my mind to that unresolved situation.

Are you and the people in your life impeccable with their word?

2nd Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally

It is so easy to take it personally, especially when it appears to be directed directly at you. Your boss criticizes you, your business partner blames you for something you did incorrectly, or your intimate partner labels you selfish or self-serving or inconsiderate.

Yes, they may be directing their words and emotional outbursts at you, but the real cause can be something entirely different. Your boss may have had a fight with his wife, your business partner may feel inadequate about his or her own shortcomings, and your intimate partner may have unrealistic expectations so that your caring behavior is not viewed that way.

Do you take everything personally or are you able to step back and realize there is more to each situation?

3rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions

Do you tend to jump to conclusions about people and situations before checking out the true facts? Do you assume that others are caring or do you automatically assume they are trying to take advantage of you?

Catch yourself the next time you make an assumption. Take a breath. Relax. And re-evaluate the situation. Ask questions. Find out what is really going on.

4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best

Do you make sure to always do your best or do you save that for times when you are expecting a big reward? What stops you from doing your best? What inspires you to do your best?

Develop the mindset to always do your best, no matter what.

These are 4 very simple agreements. Try keeping them for the next few days or even the next few hours. Watch what happens around you?