Forgive in order to Succeed!

2012 is already here!

Have you ever wondered how much baggage you bring into the New Year from situations which have hurt you in the past? During our coaching sessions, daily, I see that every one of us has been hurt by other people in the past. From the celebrity who was abused by her father, to the general manager who was fired because he uncovered an economic sandal in his company, or even the husband who caught his best friend with his wife. Throughout our lives other people’s behavior crushes us at times.

These “crushes” take a place up in our hearts. This withheld space holds you back because it absorbs positive energy. In addition, you might not be aware of it, but to hold on to negative feelings for some person in the end keeps you bonded to them! It’s a never ending circle because when you send negative energy, that’s what you receive in return, and that way negativity spreads.

It has been found, in University research, that individuals who forgive improve their health. Individuals have relieved themselves of long term migraines, manage their blood pressure, and feel increased levels of euphoria.
If you want to bring change into your life, to further develop, it is important to make new space… The present and the future are waiting for you, but if in your mind and heart are in the past, than you will stay there.

An easy and effective way which we use in coaching is the… letter. You will need same blank pages of paper, a pen, a comfortable chair, and 30 minutes of quite. Write in a list all of the people who you feel have hurt you.

After start a new page and write a letter to each of those individuals. There you should express with detail, all of the events which have upset you. Play it 100% since you aren’t going to sent the letter, express yourself exactly as you want. Use in any words you want and include all of your anger. Ask the questions you always wanted to ask. See if you can determine what you need from them or from yourself to feel ok about the situation. As you write, you will become calmer, and towards the end you will be able to see what exactly you could have done for things to have turned out different.

Turn a new page. Now you will write the replies to the letter you hypothetically send above. Get in the shoes of the other person, see what they see, and think what they think. Imagine it is the other person moving the pen and writing their opinion of the matter. You will be shocked by the result. Finally, read out load the letter with good will to forgive the other person.
All people daily try the best they can with their knowledge, skills, and strengths that they have; you too. Think about it. For example no parent upon awakening says, ‘Nice, today I found another way to do harm to my child.’ It is their problems, mistaken models of behaviour, and wounds which bring people into any relation.
And it’s in your hands to go from victim, to taking life into your hands and forgive. I know it’s not simple and easy…but it’s for your own good!
Be Unique!

Jill Douka