No More Worries

Worrying is the most destructive thing you can do in your life. It fills your head with ungrounded fears, distracts you from creative work, and makes you ill. And it is completely, utterly, and totally unnecessary.

Worrying is a particularly pernicious form of fear. Unlike real fear, which may occasionally be useful in warning you of an immediate threat, worry doesn’t have anything to do with reality. It’s invariably about something we think is going to happen to us in the future. The thought creeps under our skin like a contagion and infects every cell of our being.

All worry is a response to a “What…if?” situation. We’ve all experienced them. You leave on holiday and just as you board your flight, something makes you wonder if you turned the gas off in the kitchen at home. The doubt starts small but bit by bit grows and grows. By the time you reach your destination, you’re totally engulfed in panic. All other thoughts have been crowded out of your head. You’re even prepared to leave there and then to go home and check just to relieve yourself of the worry. If this has ever happened to you, the chances are that your worries were totally groundless. But that’s the nature of worry. It’s like a mischievous little sprite that’s out to get you.

Here are 10 common worries. See how many you experience regularly.

1. a change in a relationship, eg who will be my new boss?
2. something awful that you think might happen to you, eg being in a car accident, getting cancer, dying
3. the thought of losing control of yourself
4. a guilty conscience, eg for doing something bad
5. talking yourself into worry, eg "I'm starting to panic."
6. imagining catastrophes, eg what if there's a pandemic?"
7. worrying what others think
8. worrying about worrying, eg why do I worry so much?
9. phobias, eg fear of spiders, fear of the dark, fear of presentations
10. lack of coping skills eg getting a flat tyre, a burst water pipe.

It’s small wonder that, in an age when we are supposed to be better off than ever, our worries are driving us into an early grave!

So, what can you do to stop yourself from worrying? Well, here are 3 steps you should always take whenever you get the first signs of worry.

1. recognize when worry rears its ugly head. Some people experience worry in the pit of their stomach, others in their breathing, and others still as a vice-like grip. Write down these feelings. Even if you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, get up and write them down. Now, do something to relieve the physical symptoms. Breathe more slowly. Do a relaxation exercise. Take a break in the fresh air. Loosen your body.

2. the next thing to do may surprise you: thank your worries. The reason you should do this is that running away from your worries doesn’t resolve the underlying cause. It simply makes you a victim and gives power to the worry. So ask yourself why you are worrying. It almost certainly points to some underlying thought, perhaps from years ago, that you have not sorted out in your head. It represents blocked energy and will keep recurring until you think things through and change your thoughts. For example, if you worry every time your bank balance dips below a certain amount, you almost certainly have some issues to resolve over your attitudes towards money. Once you have dealt with the original blockage, your future reactions to the same situation will be different.

3. the third step is the most important one and that is that you must replace your destructive negative thoughts with positive ones. The reason is that your thoughts create your world. Whatever you sincerely believe comes true. It is the way of the world, the law of attraction. If you believe bad things will happen to you, they will. Instead, think in positive terms. Since worries are always about future events – and nobody can predict the future for us – use positive thoughts to attract the future you want rather than negative thoughts to attract the future you don’t want. In short, worry positively.

Worrying has become a regular pastime for many. We worry because we believe we should. We even worry because we think it helps. Neither of these is true. Worry robs you of your life. Make up your mind now never to be a victim of worry again.