Get Rid of Toxic People

Let’s pretend someone asked, “Who are you tolerating?”

Maybe you’ve been asked that question before; maybe you haven’t. Either way, think about it for a moment. Now, answer this question. What came up for you when you thought about it?

This is the type of question that provokes other questions and thoughts. In addition to thinking of the type of people you’re tolerating, you might be thinking about who they are in your life. Then you think about what they do that bothers you and how it affects your life.

The questions roll on and on.

People you are tolerating now are the toxic people in your life. That may be hard to swallow since you just realized that some of these people are close to you. You may be thinking, “How can these people be toxic for me when some of them are my relatives and friends? They’re family!”

Hold that thought. Stop and really think about it. Just because people are close to you it doesn’t mean they’re good for you, or for your self-esteem, or your beliefs, or your behaviors, or even for your happiness.

Authorities have said for years to get the toxic people out of your life. They are no good for you and they only bring you down. Well, that’s easier said than done….

So, now you’re thinking, there is no way I can do that, if I do there will be just a few people left in my life. Besides, I sure can’t get rid of my mom, dad or siblings, their family!

Guess what?

Just like most things, you have choices. You can choose to keep things the same or you can choose to make changes so you can live a happier life. It’s up to you. There is one thing for sure, though -- if you don’t make changes your future is predictable. Look in the mirror is that the person you want to be 10 years for now and beyond?

Getting rid of toxic people can really make a big difference in how you feel and how you live your life. So, here’s a tip. If you’re considering change and don’t know where to start or what to do, take baby steps.

Here are a few baby steps to get you on your way and to being less stressed and less frustrated. Remember, you do not have to be mean about this. You can do things in a way that feels good for you and your values.

Follow these steps.
1. Write down all the toxic people in your life.
2. Write down what they do that makes them toxic for you.
3. Start acknowledging how they make you feel. Stop justifying what they do simply because of who they are.
4. Now, the next time you’re with them, stop and take a moment to become aware of your energy level. Notice what’s going on when you’re feeling good and what’s going on when you’re feeling bad. When things shift from feeling good to now feeling bad, go back into the conversation that made you feel good. Don’t go where it feels bad to you. It never hurts to tell people how you feel. So when you notice the shift from good to bad, let the person know something just happened and this is not feeling good for you now.
5. When a shift happens, stay in that moment with the person and talk about. That conversation can make a huge change in itself for both of you.

No matter what you want to change, it’s important to discover that when you take different actions you want to make sure you learn from those actions.

Ask yourself, did this work? Did it make things worse? What did you learn by taking different actions?

Remember, you can choose to get rid of some of the toxic people in your life completely or simply choose to change the way you act around them and see what happens. If changing your actions doesn’t work, then next time take different actions and notice what you learned. Stick with it until you’re happy with the outcome.

Are you ready to give it a try?