Getting Children Organized - It IS Possible!

As parents, the tendancy is to want to give our children the world, but what many may not realize is that by not instilling boundaries, children are set up to be spoiled and never satisfied. If you currently feel out of control and in a power struggle with your children, don't worry, with clear boundaries and consistent behavior, you can turn this dynamic around.

Begin by modeling for your kids how to manage their material things by getting rid of excess, finding a way to store and manage the things you keep, and by clarifying the priorities in your life, and then help your children do the same in theirs.

1. SET LIMITS. If your children don't learn by having limits, they will always feel entitled and constantly want more, but never feel fulfilled. Healthy boundaries regarding behavior and consumption provide a positive framework for children and imbue them with skills for maneuvering happily through their world.

2. BE CONSISTENT. Consistency is the key to getting kids to clean up, do their homework, etc. If kids know that they can whine, beg, and hassle you into giving into their demands, they will run the household.

3. SCHOOL SUPPLY AREA. Devote an accessible cupboard to this if you can, otherwise, tiered-storage bins work well. Stock the area with whatever supplies your children need for school. Make your child’s educational success a priority, and they’ll have a head start with everything in life.

4. PICK AND CHOOSE ACTIVITIES. It’s better for your children to enjoy and excel in three extra-curricular activities than to be overwhelmed with five. If your eight year old could use a personal assistant to keep track of their goings-on, you know their schedule is too busy.

5. FREE TIME. Active, growing minds thrive with some free time to imagine and create. Balance, our old friend, is the key to success in everything.

6. DO NOT OVERTAX YOURSELF. If you are under unrelenting pressure because of your children’s schedule, it’s time to lighten the load for everyone’s benefit. Do not under-estimate the power of calmness to the quality of your life and the life of your family.

7. CENTRAL FAMILY CALENDAR. A white board in the kitchen is a great place to post your children’s activities and family events, this way the whole clan is included in planning things. Kids will take an interest in their schedule, and if you overlook something, they may end up reminding you.

8. PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE. Pick out clothes, make a lunch, and ready school supplies - including homework, notes, lunch money, etc. as part of an evening routine. Having your children participate in these tasks will give them a sense of choice and responsibility in their lives.

9. MAKE BEDTIME CONSISTENT. Set the alarm a few minutes earlier if necessary so that the day can begin with serenity and plenty of time to get ready for the day.

10. START ON A POSTIVE NOTE. Serve a healthy breakfast for success; sugary food or an empty stomach is a recipe for failure.

11. TWO-QUESTION TECHNIQUE. Maintain control while endowing your child with choice and confidence. “Ashley, do you want to get your clothes or your school supplies ready first?” “Dylan, would you rather do your homework tonight or Saturday morning?”

12.POSITIVE VALIDATION. Be encouraging when they do a good job with homework, chores, etc. Have them talk about how good it feels to get their work done early so they can have an evening ‘off’.

13.CONSEQUENCES. Set limits with love, not resentment, and commit to follow through with them. They’re not bad kids, they’re just testing you! And testing you… and testing you…

Even though it may seem as though they'd prefer to run the world, children will actually flourish when given healthy limits and supportive guidance. Once you come up with a new action plan in regards to raising your children, consistency and perseverance are the keys to changing bad behaviors that have already been established. There is no age at which your kids are too old to learn new habits, although the sooner you get started, the better!