GETTING CLOSE AGAIN

When you first met your significant other, everything was brand new. That made it exciting. Your new relationship opened new doors in your life. rnThe relationship was easy and exciting at first, because the new energy it brought into your life was already there waiting for you to discover. All you had to do was tap into it. You did just that when you stepped into the relationship. THE VERY ACT OF LIVING The very act of living and experiencing that relationship, and the energy that came with it, became an exciting discovery of who your significant other is, and a new discovery of who you are. Enjoying this new experience, by feeling that excitement, consumed that new energy. That energy is now behind you, because you've already experienced it. NO MATTER HOW LONG This is true no matter how long you've known each other. Experiencing that old energy has become your comfort zone. Now you want something new and exciting again. You've probably been trying to reach for that old energy to get that new and exciting feeling again. The truth is that old energy could give you the closeness you wanted, based on who the two of you were in the past. rnBOTH OF YOU HAVE CHANGED Both of you have changed since then. That old energy can't give you that closeness based on who the two of you are now. That's why you feel the disconnect. You've been trying to create a new spark with old energy. BRING IN THE NEW You can't bring that old energy back. You need to bring new energy into the relationship. The best way to do this is to embrace the fact that you are different people now than you were when you first met. Honor this fact by creating a new relationship based on who the two of you are now. This means you have to find out who the two of you are now. STARTING A NEW CONVERSATION You do this by starting a new conversation. Ask your significant other to talk about who they are now. If they want to complain and talk about things that don't work for them, listen intently. Encourage them to tell you who they are now and what works for them. DISCOVER WHO THE TWO OF YOU ARE NOW The overall purpose of these conversations is to discover and talk about what does work for the the two of you based on who both of you are now. Ask your mate what they're excited about, what they daydream about. Ask them if there is anything they really want to do, but don't think they can. LISTEN... AND DRAW THEM OUT rnListen intently to their answers. Draw them out by continuing to listen - and asking follow up questions. At some point they will feel the emotional satisfaction that comes with knowing you've really listened to them. At that point it's likely they will feel more relaxed, and start to become interested in what you're feeling. WHEN THAT MOMENT ARRIVES When that moment arrives, let the conversation expand on it's own into what both of you are excited about. You're looking for something both of you are truly excited about doing and creating together. What is that something for both of you? Talk to each other about anything and everything until you find at least one thing both of you are really passionate about. When you find that something, talk about it in detail. PLAN IT TOGETHER, THEN DO IT TOGETHER Plan it together, than do it together. Doing this together will form the foundation of the new relationship you've been looking for. This process works the best when the two of you are willing to let go of anything that no longer works. The process of actually starting to have this conversation will begin to bring new energy into the relationship. You will begin to feel that new energy the instant the two of you start to talk about whatever both of you are truly passionate about - and start to do it. That new energy is the very beginning of the new relationship you've been looking for. Continue this until you don't remember ever feeling disconnected in the first place. STEP FULLY INTO IT rnOnce there is enough new relationship energy created between the two of you, you can step fully into it and experience it as your new relationship. This will bring with it the new connected feeling you want. I know you are the one doing the work to start this process. Rest assured, once the conversation has enough momentum, both of you will experience the renewed relationship energy. CREATE NEW AGAIN There will be a time when this new relationship energy you have created is consumed and becomes old again. The solution will always be to create new again. What if the problems you're having go beyond feeling disconnected? What if you're struggling? What if you're arguing a lot with your significant other? That article is coming soon.