Getting Past The Past (Part One)

I have found that a fascinating way to find out what makes a person tick is to check out their relationship with the past. It s amazing how few people have a healthy outlook on everything in their past, and it’s strange how little effort people put forth to make peace with it. There just isn’t a lot of emphasis put on it’s importance, it seems between being “too busy” with today, and trying to control tomorrow there’s no time to stop and ask ourselves what about yesterday?nn Reconciling with ones past is a necessary piece of the puzzle for anyone who wants to pursue personal transformation of any kind, especially that of a spiritual nature. I have also found that people who are stuck at a roadblock in any area of their lives are usually snagged on something in their own past.n
In part one of this article I want to explore some of the symptoms I’ve observed of ones past begging to be addressed…nn
I often hear people talk about moving past a difficult time in their lives “And never looking back”, which may sound like freedom, but when we close the door on the past to escape the pain associated with it, we close ourselves off from valuable life lessons, and we risk dooming ourselves to repeat the same mistakes. Here are some common issues associated with running or hiding from the pastnn
Unresolved resentments- When we don’t invest the time to go back and look at some of the painful experiences in our past, we tend to hold on to resentments on a sub-conscious level. We might not consciously think about them anymore, but they are still running in the background affecting they way we interact with others, the choices we make, and the kind of relationships we attract into our lives. If for instance we had a teacher in 2nd grade humiliate us when we read out load… as adults we may suffer from a fear of public speaking, as well as struggle with taking direction from those in authority. As a result we could be working in a dead end job, because we have never been cooperative enough with our boss to be considered for a promotion. I have spoken with many people in these kind of situations who are now caught up in self-pity asking themselves “what’s wrong with me” or proclaiming in anger” I deserved that promotion!” but what they didn’t realize is that when given direction from their boss they tended to react inappropriately. So while their skill level may have exceeded that of the other candidates, their interaction left something to be desired.n
Worn out patterns- In a previous article “The science of being stuck” I talked about people who were living a life that they had long outgrown, out of fear of change. Another common reason that people don’t move on when the credits have already rolled is because they shut themselves off from the pain of the past. If you put your hand on a hot stove, the gift that you would be given is the memory of that pain, which would prevent you from ever putting your hand on a hot stove again. Emotional pain can serve the same purpose. If you are in a relationship that has made you unhappy in the past, that pain is there to tell you “You know what, this isn’t working for me anymore, I am ready to move on” If you refuse to listen to the lessons of the past, and choose to do the same things, you will get the same results.n
Repeating history- A lot of people who had childhoods that weren’t always happy tend to be living out the very life they couldn’t wait to escape. Most children of alcoholics either marry alcoholics or become alcoholics themselves. I have talked to many people in these situations and found that they are the “Close the door on the past” types. What happens when we grow up in unhealthy situations is we become programmed sub-consciously that this is what life consists of. Then we grow up to either mimic it, or attract it into our lives. Consciously we may hate it, just like we hated it in our childhood. By refusing to open the books of our past and re-write the rules, we reduce our chances of changing the course.n
Limiting beliefs- Having a hard time changing your belief system? Many people these days are awakening to the power of their thoughts, and to the Law of Attraction. Many of these same people are struggling to really put positive thought to work for them because it contradicts what they believe on a sun-conscious level. If as a child you were programmed that Money doesn’t grow on trees, you may have a difficult time manifesting a million dollars just because you have a million dollar bill pasted on your vision board…. If you want the best results, I’m sorry, but you will have to open that door and let the past out.n
The past is nothing to be afraid of. In reality, the pain that we are running from loses much of its power with time. I’m not saying that some of it won’t hurt to sort through, but I can guarantee you that when you have made your peace with it, you will know a freedom unlike anything you’ve ever felt. The past doesn’t have to define you, but it did have a part in making you who you are today. As long as you keep it bottled inside, you are holding on to the damaging parts, bring it out in to the light, and when you are done, you can keep the good and say good-bye to the rest!n
In part two I will explore the symptoms of living in the past.n