Article

Getting Your Ex Back - Making These Two Mistakes Will Destroy Your Chances

Topic: ForgivenessPublished December 11, 2009

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The relationship is over. Sure you and your significant other have said that to each other on more than a few occasions but neither you ever really believed it let alone actually went thru with it. Not This time. After once too many rides on the emotional roller coaster both of you have decided that this is the end of the line. Yet after a few days after the relationship ends you realize that there is a problem. In your heart you never wanted it to end. Yeah they know what buttons to push to tick you off but they also know the ones to make you fall in love with them all over again. Upon further review you decide that you want your ex back. That is of course your choice but there are a couple of things you need to be careful of if you are to make another go of it. 1. Total Surrender It was your fault all your fault and you will do everything in your power to do better this time around. If drastic changes are needed (and they are) then you will make any and all sacrifices to make sure those changes are implemented. In other words make the relationship work at all cost. Time Out. That is a major mistake some people make when trying to get their ex back. Taking all of the blame. You made some mistakes of that there is no doubt. But so did your ex. A big part of getting back together is that both of you take responsibility for what happened. One person trying to fix the problem when part of it is not within their control will not work. 2. On Your Terms You want them back but consciously or not you have drawn a mental line in the sand. Sure you love them but it is very important for you to dictate the terms and your ex to accept them. You may be generous and take some of the blame but from your perspective the lion's share belongs to your former partner. They need to do a,b and c to make the relationship whole again. That's not going to work either. In effect you are asking them to give up their power. That's the same thing you would be doing if you went the total surrender route. If they agreed to you terms they would know that it would be only a matter of time before they rebel against those terms. Especially when they realize that you would be there to critique them and make sure your conditions are followed out to the letter.

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