Grieving

Grief – it’s a word we can all relate to, if we have ever suffered the pain of losing someone close to us. It’s a word that is associated with love, the empty feeling it leaves behind as the bottom of our world falls out. It’s a word that is associated with death, as we try to move on in our lives without that special person. Buts death has many guises. So what relevance has it here? Let’s explore that question together. To my mind there are so many other things that we grieve for. The loss of that prefect job, the reposition of your home, bankruptcy, these and more are all relevant points if we take the time to look- grief wears many hats. This was a lesson that I had to learn, in which I would receive an A star plus for effort on my road to recovery. If we were to think of our lives and the passing of the years as building blocks that forge us as we grow, any block removed would have a major effect on us. We need to fully understand, that this also includes the bad as well as the good. They define who we are, a jigsaw with all the pieces in place. If we are to give any credence to the above statement, it becomes very easy to recognise the relevance. However much we would like it not to be. The abuse we have suffered plays its part, that loss is also felt fully. So how can that be true when everything surrounding that passage of time was so very painful? Rightly or wrongly it has become a part of you. Many years may have passed for some me included, where abuse was a constant part of our lives. The fact that we find the courage to change; to remove those blocks will almost defiantly create a hole that will need to be addressed. We grieve for the loss of time within our lives; a feeling that is somewhat uncomfortable. Emotions are being removed healed one by one, emotions that seemed to have become part of our DNA. The kicker is that leaving anything behind us has an effect; it’s a shift in time of which you have no control over. For many years of my life, healing involved the comfort of a support group. I was in a bubble of safety. Unburdening all those issues that I had to carry alone for so many years; someone was now in place taking some of the weight from me. They helped me to fill the void that was being created, by the very act of being there. I came to rely on that comfort and never envisaged that at some point it would be removed. But the reality is that it was only ever going to be there for a short period in time. Once more we grieve the loss of that guiding hand in the right direction; the stark reality is that we now have to take control of the reins alone. It’s true to say that from that moment on looking to the future, the blocks being put in place will be of your own making, but there will never be a stronger foundation………..