Guiding Young kids: 21 tactics

The Definition of GuidancernGuidance is optimistic discipline. The word “discipline” comes from the Latin root discipulus, meaning pupil. Simply put, guidance teaches. Kids learn by what we say and the way we act. Guidance involves setting clear, reliable limits that have reasons and determined to foster self-esteem and independence. Guidance is NOT, however, letting a child “go free.” The adults that never set limits are the ones that are not taken seriously. Setting Age-Appropriate Limits rnAge-appropriate limits engage matching a child’s developmental age to the structure, activities, and expectations that are provided. In order to make clear what age appropriate is, here are three examples of limits that are NOT age appropriate: 1) Expecting a young toddler who is learning to use a spoon to be perfectly neat; 2) Expecting a three-year-old to sit quietly at group time for an hour; 3) Expecting an toddler to never cry when she is hungry. Limits and Reasons by Distance Learning Ecce Giving children reasons for the limits you set is part of teaching. Even infants and toddlers who are too young to understand the words you use will still understand the tone or rhythm of the words. The tone or rhythm will express to the child that the adult is concerned for her and not merely angry. Stating reasons also helps adults make sure there is a basis for the limits they set, which helps to get rid of unrealistic limits. It is essential that limits are focused; too many limits may hold back the development of a child’s sense of independence and capability. The Benefits of GuidancernMost children want to please adults. However, occasionally children are puzzled about what is expected. When limits are reliable, children know what is expected, and over time it makes meeting expectations habitual. The more habitual behavior is for the child, the less adult interference is necessary. Therefore, steadiness diminishes power struggles, increases the child’s independence, and fosters the following six qualities: • Safety. Too much liberty is like too much water for a plant – the roots can rot! Kids need to know that adults are watching out for them and ensuring their safety. • Trust. Kids learn to trust limits and consequences because, when there are no surprises, they know what to imagine. • Self-Regulation. When limits are accidental kids doubt they can influence their future; when limits are reliable children learn to self-regulate. • Competence. As children become more autonomous they feel a wonderful sense of capability. • Reflection. Guidance helps children make wise choices, but making wise choices does not mean the child does whatever she needs. Rather, the child needs to be reflective about responsibilities. For example, a child can think about how a companion might feel if she took all the crayons. • Respect. Rather than feeling bitterness toward the person setting limits, kids learn to respect the person guiding them. rnConclusion: rnKids learn by what we say and the way we act. Guidance involves setting clear, reliable limits that have reasons and determined to foster self-esteem and independence.