Guilt at Daughter's Death -- Diane and Molly #6
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Guilt
Diane to God:
Dear God, I keep holding onto Molly's physical death and feeling guilt and pain, sadness and fear. I tried to do everything I could to make her physical life comfortable, and I feel like I have failed in her last days of sickness and death. My husband keeps remembering how she stuck her finger down her throat, trying to get more air. I fear that she suffered, and that I should have done something more or something different.
I know You said her time of death would have been the same no matter what I did, but now I am beating myself up for not doing it right. Please help me....
I love You very much......
Dianen
God said:
Dear Diane, you knew Molly so much in the physical. Your hands took care of her. You filled her every need. It is not surprising that you miss her with all your heart.
Blaming yourself gives you great opportunity to remember Molly. What exquisite pain you feel at the thought of her little body. How can you stop thinking of Molly when plagued with guilt? Guilt seems honorable, so you have a good excuse to frame your thoughts of her around it. But guilt is of the ego, Diane. It certainly is not of Me.
You think it is tragedy that Molly left her body.
You think her life was cut short.
Her life lasted as long as it was supposed to. This life of hers on earth had a beginning, middle, and an end. It was her life. You contributed to her life, not her death. And she did not suffer.
You feel guilt that your life is easier now. n
Do you really think you should be punished? If you do, keep on punishing yourself. If you don’t, stop now.
Don’t weep for Molly, dear Diane. She flies free. The death of the body is required for that. Would you really deny or delay her freedom? Not for her, you wouldn’t. Perhaps for yourself.
Now, here is what I would like you to do.
Write Molly a letter. Pour your heart out to her. Tell her everything. Tell her all. Then listen to the impulses of her response. You will hear her answers. They are hers, not yours. If her response is not clear to you, answer yourself as she would. You know how she would answer. n
Guilt is not honorable. It does not make you more worthy. It’s just a waste of your talent. n
Do you not think that the mother of Molly deserves freedom and joy? You are still Molly’s mother. n
At the same time, Diane, My child, do not ask too much of yourself. Cry your tears, and then cry them again. And, yes, your tears do purify the world. n
And remind your husband that both of you loved that gift of Mine named Molly Rose, and that you love her still. Feelings of guilt do not make your love more or stronger. You are worthy enough without guilt. There is no blame. n Hnonor Molly by honoring yourselves. n
Her sweet soul wills for you to regain happiness. n
Will you not make up with yourself, forgive yourself for not getting her to the hospital sooner, even though the outcome would have been the same? Still, you need to forgive yourself. n
Grief will not always hold you captive. It will go its course. n
Christ, Mary, and I give you Our full blessings, and We accept yours, for you do bless Us, Diane.
Love, your God in Heaven and on earth
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