Habits

Habits, like clothing, are external to us and a product of our choices. We need to choose them carefully, and change them if necessary; to insure that they accurately reflect who we really are, the things that matter most, and the impressions we want to be remembered by.rnPeople often believe that their habits represent their identity, when habits are nothing more than a series of learned behaviors based on our personal choices. They include habits of mind, habits of word, and habits of action. Whether good or bad, these habits are not who we are, but merely reflections of the choices we have made in response to life experiences.rnDeep inside your heart there lives the person you really are. Beneath the chosen habits, established patterns, developed attitudes, and environmental influences lives your true self. You may or may not be aware of it, but it is there. Your true self represents your core values, deep beliefs, and natural attitudes about things. This is your true identity.rnMany have mistakenly come to believe that their habits are actually who they are. And, because of this, they frequently believe that they just need to accept who they are, or that they cannot really change things very much. In truth, our habits are simply the result of our choices, repeated across time, and can be removed and replaced with other habits if we develop enough awareness to recognize them, make different choices, and develop new habits through the repetition of these choices.rnDiscovering your habits can help you clarify who you are, and who you are not. When you identify your habits, and separate them from your perception of who you are; then it is much easier to see who you truly are. You may also want to ask trusted friends and family members who have known you since childhood. Ask them about things like compassion, empathy, interests, reactions to critical situations, and beliefs. Then reflect upon these things, along with the things you yourself have discovered; and get back in touch with your natural, beautiful, true self. If you need help with this, then you may want to contact a counselor or spiritual teacher.rnSo, if you have any bad habits, and if you want to change them; then you need to pay enough attention to become deeply aware of the truth about them, consciously choose not to engage in the thinking, speaking, or acting that supports these undesired habit; replace the bad habits with good habits; and consciously choose to repeat them until they have become established – like actively removing the weeds and nurturing a young plant until it has become strong enough to survive. rnSome such bad habits could include anger, hatred, judgmentalism, criticism, pessimism, procrastination, gossiping, spreading rumors, and lying. Other bad habits might include dressing seductively to get sexual attention, disrespecting the rights of others, being unfaithful in relationships, interfering in the private matters of others, and over-indulgence. Still others could include drinking too much alcohol, becoming dependent on drugs, eating too much, gambling excessively, or spending money you do not have. And, I’m sure you all could think of many more. rnBut the good news is that all such habits can be broken, and replaced with healthy, positive ones, if we choose to do so. Habits are not who we are. They are merely a product of our choices.