Handling a Divorce Application when the Couple Is Unable to Reach an Agreement

In the "perfect divorce" a couple will come into their perspective lawyer's offices ready to sign an agreement and quickly end their marriage. Unfortunately the "perfect divorce" does not usually happen in real life, and in most cases he negotiations take more time than the divorce proceedings themselves. There is usually an abundance of offers and counter offers with the occasional spouse who just will not budge no matter how much time the process takes. rnOne of the mistaken misconceptions that many couples have is that if they hold out long enough one of two things will happen: • Their spouse will change his or her mind about the divorcern• The spouse will give in to the demands just to get the divorce filed and completed.rnUnfortunately either of the above scenarios is unrealistic at best. That isn't to say there is never a case where a spouse withdraws or modifies a divorce application just to speed things up, but the methodology is not one that has a proven rate of success. In most cases both spouses are stubborn as they can possibly be and require the intervention of a third party in order to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. Unfortunately there are many times it becomes necessary for divorce lawyers to throw up their hands in desperation and call upon someone else to help with the negotiations.rnWhat happens when a divorcing couple cannot come to an agreement over the terms of their divorce? Perhaps they tried to work things out amicably before they even consulted their perspective divorce lawyers but failed to succeed. Their divorce lawyers have now been attempting to obtain a mutually satisfactory agreement but both parties are refusing to compromise. What is the next step? Obviously they cannot file the divorce application until there is some kind of agreement on the terms—or at least there is something the lawyer of the spouse filing for divorce can include in the divorce application and petition. What other methods are open to resolve these differences? When both the couple and their lawyers fail to help them reach an agreement, there are two other options: • The lawyers may suggest an impartial mediator who will sit down with the couple and attempt to draw them into a mutual agreement. The couple may also choose to enlist the services of a mediator before they consult with a divorce lawyer in order to save the extra hourly fees that will result from long drawn out fruitless negotiations. • If the mediation process still fails to bring about a mutual agreement, the lawyer will file the paperwork based on he requests of his or her client and leave the final decision up to the court. This method is more time-consuming than mediation and is not something the court will decide on the day of the divorce hearing—in fact, some judges will take as long as 30 days to render a final decision. On the day of the hearing the judge will only grant a temporary order on the pertinent issues such as child custody, visitation, child support and spousal support.