Handling the Haters | Deal with Negative People and Jealousy

Gwyneth Paltrow is an Oscar-winning actor. She sings. She writes a blog. She cooks well. She's authored a best-selling cookbook. And in mastering so many talents, she's managed to irritate a few people. (Okay, it doesn't help that she's tall, thin, attractive, married to Chris Martin of Coldplay and gets to perform with the cast of Glee when she's not romping around Spain with chef Mario Batali, creating a book and a PBS series en route).

So what does Gwyneth Paltrow have to do with you?

The downside of being multi-talented is that sometimes, some people are intimidated. A few are jealous. Occasionally, you may spark some haters -- disapproving critics who express (and spread) negative opinions about you. Probably not as publicly as those who deride Gwynnie P., but you get my point: odds are slim that you will delight every single person on the planet.

And whenever haters hate, it can derail our creative endeavors. It can create self-doubt. It can paralyze our progress. Don't let this happen to you! Avoid letting negative people or their jealousy interrupt your creativity.

Realize that when haters hate, it's got more to do about THEM and THEIR situation than it does about YOU and YOURS. It probably means that you've done something they wish they had. Jealousy is actually a backhanded compliment...and one that should be dismissed as soon as possible.

Here's how to handle the haters:

1. Ignore them.

Haters are gonna hate. Nothing you say or do is likely to affect their opinion of you, so you might as well just let it go.

2. Accept the situation.

They don't like you. So be it. So what?

3. Avoid putting yourself down.

Self-deprecating remarks don't make you look better to a hater. Or to anyone else. Minimizing your accomplishments or skills is disrespectful to your talents and to you.

4. Shift your attention from the negative few to the positive many.

For every hater, you may well have a thousand fans. People who truly appreciate you and your talents. Focus your attention on the supportive people in your life.

5. Channel your discomfort into your creative endeavors.

It feels lousy when people don't like you. Rather than wallow, do something to disrupt these icky feelings. Write a funny story about what's happened. Compose and sing a healing song. Paint it away. Do whatever you can to get over the unpleasantness as quickly as possible.

As Gwyneth says, "You can spend your life worrying about it or you can just do what you're doing."

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Activity: Think of a time you received some jealous or hateful comments. How did you react? What were the short-term and longer-term consequences?

Activity: If you encounter a similar situation in the future, how would you prefer to react? What else could you do?

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In the comment box below, please describe how you handle haters. What's worked well for you?

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma™! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .