Has communication with your partner died down after marriage?

After infidelity, lack of communication is what drives most couple towards divorce. As time goes on, couples get used to each other’s presence and intimacy takes a back seat.

Communication in any relationship makes for the very foundation and in marriages, it is what keeps it going. However, due to difference in opinions, different responsibilities and opposite outlooks in life, communication can often reduce to basic conversations and this is where you should buck up and set things right.

What can a lack of communication lead to?

Loss of trust- When your partner fails to communicate with you and you have no idea what is going on in their life, a million thoughts would spring up on your mind. You’d probably be left guessing as to why they skip dinner, come late or are always cranky, your trust would start to waver.

Insecurity- Partners have often reported to feel insecure as they begin communicating lesser and lesser. Most divorcees relate how they started to dread and become insecure about the future as they felt their spouse emotionally drifting away.

Infidelity- You’re not talking properly, your spouse would not be able to invite you to bed if all you talk about is how the food tastes saltier today. 70% of people cheat not only for sex, but also because they feel that the person they cheated with on their partner gave them importance and most importantly heard them out.

What can you do to improve communication after marriage?

Exaggerating negative feelings- If your spouse is not being able to give you time, talk to them about it. What most people do is exaggerate the entire issue, ‘you did not notice my new haircut because you do not love me anymore like you did when we first met and when you promised that you would love me all your life’ was that sentence really necessary? Communicate issues rather than playing the blame game.

Understand them- Put yourself in their shoes, your spouse has a lot to deal with too. Try to be compassionate, can you forgive your spouse for not noticing your half an inch hair trim? Yes, you can. Try to think from their perspective too, be understanding and they would soon find the will to communicate.

Don’t presume- This is a very bad habit of most people. If you are going to act upon something that you think your spouse is guilty of, then don’t blame anyone when your marriage falls apart. Hear out what they have to say with an open mind and sans any preset notions.

Have healthy arguments- Every couple argues, but generalizing will not help. Be specific, tell them what trait or action of theirs have upset you rather than telling them how horrible they are for making you feel this way. State individual problems, listen to their point of view, offer solutions and come to a compromise.

Take the initiative- Start making small talks, ask them about their day, talk about the children’s progress in school or what happened at your workplace. Take charge and get them talking, but don’t pester or get angry when they respond in monosyllables, they’ll come around to the idea of opening up to you eventually. Till then, Good Luck!