Have You Met Your Dream Guy? Then Call Your Girlfriend!

If you finally found the love of your life, if you’re like most of us all you want to do is be with him. In fact you’ve probably started to let things slide.

First it was the weekly computer night or bridge game. Now you’re passing on Movie-Mavan Monthly. Maybe you’ve quit calling your best friend for lunch, and even started to miss some of the family Sunday night get-togethers. (After all, you say, that’s the only night *he* is free and you want him all to yourself.)

Well this is just the wrong thing to be doing. It’s wonderful to have a man in your life, but it’s important to remember what made your life work “before.” You need your girlfriends all along. That fantastic “honeymoon” stage doesn’t last forever. Also guys need their space.

I was talking to a client today and she said, “My sister’s just met the love of her life. Now I guess she’ll disappear and I won’t hear from her for a while. She does that every time.” Every time? Yep, it turns out this sister has trouble keeping a man in her life. She’s had one breakup after another. Could it be she’s too clingy?

You lose your shine when you don’t get out and about. When you get out, you have things to bring back. You also get help with stress. You know guys aren’t very good about listening to that stuff. They always want to “fix” it, and that doesn’t work for the things you just have to live with.

We didn’t need a study to tell us this one, but a great one just came out of UCLA. It says if you’re a woman, the best stress relief is other women. You need them all the time, but you need them even MORE when you’ve got a man in your life. Let’s face it, you need to talk about the feelings.

We women have richer emotional lives than men. We’re primed for emotional connection and have a tolerance for it that men don’t. Talking about stress actually stresses a man more, but it’s how we handle stress.

It’s also natural for a woman to comfort someone who’s stressed. We don’t stop at the “fight or flight” thing, like men do. He just wants the feeling to go away, not talking, not sympathy. That’s why when he says he had a bad day at work and you say “poor baby,” he gets mad, and why if you had a bad day at work and he doesn’t say “poor baby” you get mad.

No matter what your sign, no matter how great your guy, to handle stress, you need women friends in your life.

If you’re an Aries you need girlfriends because on the upside, they appreciate your quick wit. On the downside, they keep you from being impulsive. She’ll listen and tell you, “Oh give him another chance. It’ll be okay.”

If you’re a Taurus, you need girlfriends because on the upside, you always need people to love. On the downside, they help you deal with your jealousy. She’ll listen and say, “I know just how you feel, but I don’t think he’s the slightest bit interested in her.”

If you’re a Gemini, you need your girlfriends because on the upside, you’re communicative. On the downside, you get so nervous. Your girlfriend will listen and say, “I don’t blame you for taking it that way. Your boss is Neanderthal.”

If you’re a Cancer, you need your girlfriends because on the upside, nurturing is your thing. On the downside, you get so clingy. She’ll listen and say, “You poor dear. I know it hurts to get rejected like that.”

If you’re a Leo, you need your girlfriends because on the upside, more people to be generous to. On the downside, they’ll give you a nudge when you’re getting too bossy. She’ll listen and say, “tsk, tsk, and you were only trying to help. How rude of him!”

If you’re a Virgo, you need your girlfriends because on the upside it’s more people to fuss over. On the downside, they’ll remind you not to nit-pick. She’ll listen and say, “I know you’re worried about that party, but with a face like yours, who cares about your shoes.”

If you’re a Libra, you need your girlfriends because on the upside you’re made for partnerships of all kinds. On the downside, they help you balance your scales. She’ll listen and say, “I’d be nervous too but I know you can do it!”

If you’re a Scorpio, you need your girlfriend because on the upside you need someone to protect. On the downside, she’ll remind you not to sting. She’ll listen and say, “Your boss is an idiot. How did you manage to hold your tongue?”

If you’re a Sagittarius, you need your girlfriends to philosophize with. On the downside, they can tactfully point out when you’re about to be tactless. She’ll listen and say, “I can sympathize, but are you sure this is the time for that?”

If you’re a Capricorn, you need your girlfriends because they’ll appreciate how practical you are. On the downside, they’ll temper your pessimism. “Come here and tell me all about it, and then I’m going to show you the good side.”

If you’re an Aquarius, hey! You’re the Friend-Queen of the zodiac. On the downside, friends will keep you from that aloof-thing. When you get stressed, she’ll listen and say, “Call the girls, I’ll fix the guacamole and margaritas, we’ll share war stories.”

If you’re a Pisces, you need your girlfriends because to be kind to. On the downside, you need your girlfriends because you’re easily-led and you can trust them. When you get stressed, she’ll listen and say, “There there.”