Having the Courage to Die

What is she talking about now? I can hear you all saying it out loud. Well, let me explain what I mean by having the courage to die. I have talked before about the many parts of self- there is so much that makes us who and what we think we are. There is our negative ego, our younger self, adolescent self, young adult, our past perception of memories, our parents’ influences, teachers, friends, siblings, well you get the point. There comes a point in one’s life when we are faced with the questions…Is this what life is all about?

Some choose to say, “Yes I will settle…it’s fine this way.” Others will choose to rebel from it, and then there are those who seek to know more, to work at finding their meaning to their life. I am one of them, not that I was never happy with what I had, but I always have had something inside me wanting to push further to explore and get answers to my questions. An inner quest to find all of me. This is something I choose to seek.

So through the process and choices I have made, I have had to let parts of me die. I have had to go through the grief process with each death. At first it was something I didn't recognize. There was a lot of fear and resistances. Those parts fought hard to stay, my mind played tricks on me, but once I made the commitment to my choice, I allowed the process to take place. I recognize it now as a feeling of something has to change or feelings of nowhere else to go. I have reached my limit so the only place to go is inward for guidance.

I still work daily on fears and resistances from within. I have to address the fear and what is surrounding it to really get to the root of what I am or was holding on to. Once that is attended to I am able to thank it for all it had served me, because it served me well at the time. I now know it cannot be a part of me and must die in order for a rebirth of my heart’s desire to be born. So within my grief of letting go of the old something new and magical is born within and the feelings are so incredible that mere words would never do it justice. The experience alone when you are willing and allowing to let GO of the fear, to allow something new to emerge from the depths of your soul is simply Magical. I choose to have the courage to allow those parts of me to die. Because of this I am constantly changing and healing; I embrace this all and more. I have chosen at times, especially in the beginning to struggle; I now choose differently. I choose to heal my fear, not deal or deny it. I face it for all that it is… the ugly and beautiful truth of it all. For me that is the only way to heal it, by going through it with utmost compassion for what it is and where I want to be.

How can you do this for yourself.

1} You need to commit to self to heal and seek your truth, your heart’s desire, to connect with soul, to step away from the negative feedback of the mental mind.

2} You must make a choice and stand by your choice; you must own it. It is your responsibility to find your inner truth. Choose to be conscious of your thoughts every moment possible.

3} Stay in your heart. If you hear your self speaking negativity to others or self STOP! Be conscious, breathe into your heart opening it up.

4} When you have taken noticed of the negativity, be more aware of who and what inside of you is in fear. What is it you are afraid of losing, dying?

5} Forgiveness and compassion is a must to move forward. You must give yourself permission be compassionate and forgive yourself and others for your part in a situation, because whether you want to believe it or not you made choices that participated in the outcome. Own what is yours.

6} You MUST STOP blaming, judging and even hating others. When you do this it is a reflection of something inside of you that you don't like about self, something wanting to be healed that you are ignoring. So it must manifest in reality to show you. You must be honest with yourself no matter how ugly you perceive it.

7} Allow yourself time to pause, reflect, to look at it from all perspectives, and then LET GO. You can't control the outcome if you set limits on thoughts of how it should be.

8} Trust. Trust that you are healing, feel the fear being healed and work thorough any resistance that come up until you feel that something inside has really shifted. It may take a couple times, but each time it will bring you closer to what is truer for you, you will always have a newer sense of understanding and knowing when things are shifting. Things that never made sense now have meaning, value, a significance like never before.

9} Allow yourself to feel the remorse of losing something that you have held on to for so long. Feel it and release it. Allow yourself to be present with grief.

10} Feel something new emerging from the depths of your soul and embrace all that it is and allow it to be more than anything you could imagine. Remember to let go of limiting thoughts of what it should be and just allow it to just be

11} Know that there will always be fear and resistances. Know that choosing to heal them and work with them make the process easier, more elegantly and gracefully moving through them. It is a part of your journey to learn not to struggle with your fears of losing but to realizing you are constantly and more willing to be open to change instead of fear of change because of the unknown. Embrace life rather than fear life.

12} Commit to working through your fears through meditation daily. Heal your fears by bringing them up in meditation. Be conscious of your fears. Own what you get from holding on to them and recognize them for what they mean to you. Then release them and engage in opening up to new possibilities, new hopes born from a new perception without fear.