Help Your Child Overcome School Stress

"Help Your Child Overcome School Stress"
Written by Mark Dworkin LCSW
www.markdworkin.com

After “No Child Left Behind” from the Bush era, the public schools drastically changed. For better or worse, they have changed. Now kids begin routine standardized testing in elementary school nation-wide. This puts a lot of stress on kids today at a very young age, when they are still learning how to cope with stressors.

Whether your child is in elementary school or college, nerves are nerves and academic & social pressure from school achievements & acceptability is great at all ages. While you may feel helpless because things like standardized testing are out of our control as parents, there is so much you can do for your child at home to help them prepare emotionally for these stressors.

Ways You Can Help Your Kids:

1. Know the signs of stress: changes in sleep patterns or nightmares, difficulty focusing, paying attention or remembering things you ask of them. Ie. you ask them to take out the trash and then wash their hands and help you set the table and they get as far as step one & forget two & three. Forgetfulness is a common side effect of an overwhelmed mind.

2. At the first sign of stress talk to your kids about it. Ask them how they feel about their classes and the test a teacher gives. If you only tell them to study harder you may be increasing their felt stress; this won’t help them absorb what they are trying to learn. While they may need to be encouraged to study they do need to also be encouraged to recognize their feelings so they can let them out. If they are too nervous before the exam they will likely do poorly no matter how well they studied.

3. Sometimes it helps to set appropriate study times & positive reinforcements such as rewards not just for doing well but for studying & reaching out for extra help, etc.

4. If your children are in high school & college I would encourage you to also be mindful of the warning signs of drug use as nation-wide there is an epidemic in substance abuse to push academic achievement. Namely the abuse of prescribed or illegally bought ADD medications for their “upper” effects which allow the student to tax their body & stay up past their time “focused.” However, things learned under the influence cannot be remembered accurately or for long term sober & these drugs are habit forming (which can of course worsen your child’s stress levels to an even more unhealthy level).

My children are two of the most wonderful men today, both in college working hard and I know that many days they are extremely stressed out by their studies. The best thing I can do for them is listen, being involved is the most important thing for a parent to be.