How Can I Fix My Spouse

Ahhh, the age old question: How can I fix my wife or husband?!

The answer?

It's simple! You cannot "fix" anyone. The only person you can "fix" is you.

You can share with your spouse how you feel about their words, actions, or issues but you absolutely cannot "fix" them. The only way anyone can be "fixed" is for the individual to recognize there is a problem and then want to change it. This includes any situation in the relationship from the tiniest concerns; such as never putting the cap back on the toothpaste tube, to the very largest concerns; such as addictions, depression, or any chronically debilitating issues your spouse may be experiencing.

While it may seem as though you can absolutely fix your partner's issues (because you love them so much and feel you are able to see what is good and what is bad for them), no person can be "fixed" by someone else. The best thing you can do for yourself and your partner is to shift from focusing on "fixing" your spouse and look more deeply on why you are focusing on your partner's improvement, instead of your own.

So often we look to fix our spouse because he or she is an easier target. By pointing the finger at the other person and focusing our attention on our spouse's "ugly parts," we get to avoid looking at ourselves and addressing the areas in our own lives that need healing. More than likely, you don't realize you are even doing this. But once this behavior occurs, it is absolutely necessary to recognize it and stop doing it.

By letting go of trying to fix your partner and focusing on looking inwardly, you get to let go of all of the burdensome efforts of trying to do the impossible: all of the cajoling, begging, lecturing, pleading, manipulating, and guilt are released from your life. As a result, in place of these unhealthy and life-blocking efforts, you are given the opportunity to dive deeply within yourself, heal, grow, and celebrate all the wonder of you. You get to create and live your life the way you want and share fulfillment and happiness with your partner along the way!